


The Artifice

by DarkStarHeart64



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cheating, Emily Prentiss Centric, Emily is in for heartbreak, Emily needs more self respect, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Garcia is torn, Heartbreak, Internalized Homophobia, JJ doesn't know what she wants, Morgan is no. 1 protector, OOC Emily Prentiss, OOC Jennifer Jareau, Reid is not having it, Secret Relationship, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkStarHeart64/pseuds/DarkStarHeart64
Summary: Ever since they met, Emily Prentiss knew that there was something about JJ...something that made Emily want to be around her, to be with her. When JJ seems interested in her, they start a relationship, and Emily is over the moon...but of course, everything must come to an end, and heartbreak ensues. This is a tragedy, so a sad ending. -WARNING: HAS EMOTIONAL ABUSE!- I suck at summaries...oops. Enjoy :)
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 34
Kudos: 72





	1. An Intro

It had all started out innocently enough. But how did it start again?

 _I'm Jennifer, Jennifer Jareau. My friends call me JJ._ That's the first words Emily could remember the blonde agent telling her.

 _Emily, Emily Prentiss. I'm, uh, new here. Obviously._ Emily laughed bitterly at the memory of how awkward she had been at the time, her first day at the BAU. A pretty girl was simply talking to her and her head was simply filling up with more and more rocks with each passing second, her mouth was suddenly spewing babble that no one, no matter how desperate they were, would find attractive. _Haha, ok, nice to meet you, Emily,_ JJ had laughed.

She let out a laugh that Emily had loved. A laugh that Emily had once wished she could have had on replay. A laugh Emily had grown to hate. A laugh that had one day been all that was needed to get Emily to do whatever was asked of her. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much it cost.

 _It's great to meet you. We've really been needing a new member. I'm glad that you're here. How about tomorrow I go over protocol with you? It's kind of a lot to take in. We can take it slow,_ JJ continued. Emily couldn't recall anything but her awkward, goofy smile and a reply that most likely came off as too quick, too dorky, and too...desperate. But that's just the way Emily had always been...a real lady killer.

It's great to meet you.

I'm glad that you're here.

I'm Jennifer, Jennifer Jareau.

My friends call me JJ.

That's how it started. Innocent, unsuspecting, and perhaps it could be considered cute, but Emily never had a clue that the blonde woman that she had clumsily bumped into in the bullpen, knocking files out of her hands and onto the floor, would be the one that would change her. The woman that would steal her heart, break it into a million pieces, but still manage to hold it through it all. Even in the bitter end.

Emily Prentiss entered the BAU with goals, she was young and ambitious, with a chip on her shoulder and a will to prove that she could do just fine in a career without her mother's help. Jennifer Jareau was just an unplanned variable. But then again, how does one properly prepare for heartbreak?


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE: Ok, so this is the first time I've ever actually POSTED my fanfic so I'm nervous, lol. My best friend convinced me to try it out. So bless her. Hope ya'll like this thing of mine. It was pretty spontaneous. Quarantine just BLESSED me with inspiration. Sorry if ther's typos and stuff. And also, remember this pretty AU and...yeah. It's a JEMILY fic and it drifts from canon quite a bit. So anyway, that's enough for now XD pls enjoy. Feedback would not only help but bless my email. Lol, THANKS :** **)**

Emily yawned as she walked to her new desk in the bullpen. She, Gideon and Reid had just landed from Guantanamo Bay, and between the jet lag and the 48 hour race to stop a terrorist attack at a new shopping mall, she hadn't slept much. Maybe she should have skipped that last chess game with Gideon...

Before Emily put her things down, she froze to watch as Hotch glared at her through his office window, sizing her up. His brows were furrowed and his dark, unreadable eyes were piercing, making Emily want to jump out of a window. Finally, he looked away, and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding...only to end up catching it again seconds after.

"Hey, you!" Emily heard a voice behind her say, making the brunette jump out of her skin. She turned to find JJ watching with a raised brow and an amused smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she chuckled. Emily felt her face heat up as she crossed her arms over her chest and plastered on a friendly smile. "Oh, um no," she stammered. "Don't worry, JJ, you didn't." _Idiot_ , she scolded herself. _She knows you're full of it._

Emily could tell from the smile on JJ's face and the laugh that she was clearly struggling to hold back, that JJ picked up on the terribly constructed lie. "Ok," JJ mused, her tone sounding like she was playing along with a small child's tall tale. "But how was Guantanamo? I hear it's lovely thIs time of year." Emily burst out laughing at the joke, though she had no idea why. _Was it even that funny?_

"Yeah, it was hot, muggy, but dry... and the guards seemed so _thrilled_ to see us feds there," Emily replied. JJ smiled at her. "I'm sure," she deadpanned. They locked eyes for a few seconds of comfortable silence, both smiling.

"You want to get a drink later?" JJ asked after a few seconds. "Garcia and I were going to go out, but she ended up having to bail." Emily bit her lip, her heart pounding in excitement. She began to self chastise herself, saying to calm the hell down and stop losing her mind over this woman in front of her. Then...she was horrified to realize that she was taking too long to answer. JJ raised her brows expectantly, and Emily could tell the blonde was struggling not to laugh.

"Yes," Emily replied before wincing right away."I was just...ugh...thinking about my plans for tonight. Then I remembered I had nothing...yeah, all clear." _All clear? What the hell-_ She chuckled nervously as JJ smirked. "Ok, then meet me at O'Keefe's," the blond replied smoothly. "Do you know where it is?" Emily nodded, and JJ patted her arm. "Ok, does seven, work?" Again, Emily nodded. "Seven works just fine," the brunette said. They shared another smile.

Later that night, Emily parked her car outside of the bar JJ had told her about and took a deep breath. She lifted her hands only to find them to be a clammy mess. "You're pathetic," she told herself. "You have a small crush on your teammate-your _coworker_ \- and you start falling to pieces. Grow up, this isn't some romance novel." She took another deep breath in hopes of calming her nerves, but all it did was make her choke in the end. "Emily Prentiss, you are hopeless…" she chuckled to herself. "It's just a drink, you lunatic."

And with that, she kicked open her door and climbed out. As the door slammed shut, Emily looked around the parking lot, hoping to see JJ's car, but she didn't. With a sigh, she checked her watch to see if in her irrational excitement to meet JJ, she had arrived an hour early. It wouldn't be the first time she did _that._ But no, she was right on time. 7:00 sharp.

Emily pushed open the glass door of the bar to find a lively room of patrons sitting around at tables, playing pool, or chatting at the bar. The group was so big, Emily had to really search the room. It took her a few moments to find JJ sitting alone at the far end of the bar, and the blonde waved at her when they caught each other's gaze. Emily took another deep breath..

Emily wasn't even five feet close to the blonde when she was greeted with bright blue eyes and a smile. "You made it," she mused. Emily smirked as she nodded. JJ gestured to the stool next to her, and the brunette took it. "Yeah," Emily replied. "Did you think I'd get lost?" JJ chuckled as she took a sip from her drink. "You seem dorky enough!" She teased and Emily rolled her eyes. "Dorky," the brunette mused. "Me? Never!"

JJ laughed before she called over the bartender and Emily ordered her drink. "So, is this the, uh, BAU hangout place?" Emily asked as she thanked the bartender. JJ nodded and turned around on her stool, to face the pool tables. "Yeah, the team and I, or just Garcia and I, come here for drinks sometimes," she confirmed. Then, she pointed a slim finger at Emily. "So _that_ means this is _your_ new hangout place, too." Emily chuckled as she swirled the ice cubes around in her glass. "Good enough for me," she joked. "I think I could live with this." The two shared a smile.

"You play darts?" JJ asked suddenly. Emily nodded as she swallowed the last sip of her drink. "Um, yeah," she said with uncertainty. It sounded more like a question than a statement. JJ arched a brow. "Well, I haven't in a while, but…" Emily trailed off. JJ rolled her eyes playfully. "Just say _yes_ , Prentiss!" Emily smirked. "Then, yes," she restated. The blonde smirked as she grabbed Emily's arm and dragged her to the back corner where there was a dart board.

Emily watched as JJ grabbed the darts out of the foam dart board. She offered three to Emily. The brunette smiled at the blonde as she reached to take them, but the offering hand quickly recoiled them. JJ's face fell deathly serious.

"I know I invited you here, but let me just say...you will regret ever coming to this bar once you see me play darts," JJ warned. Emily raised a brow as she chuckled. The alcohol that was now coursing through her veins was working to settle her nerves, and was succeeding because the next thing Emily did shocked even _her_. The brunette smirked as she snatched the darts from JJ and shot her a wink. "Alright, I accept your challenge. I'm not so bad myself," she said with confidence that made JJ laugh. "Normally, I would applaud you for such a cute display of ego, but in this case, you're just very naive, I'm afraid," JJ cooed with a boastful smile. Emily narrowed her eyes. And so the game began...

Long story short, Emily Prentiss got her ass handed to her every round of darts. "Ok, ok, I gave you that one," she said after JJ cheered at her first victory. The brunette profiler rolled her eyes playfully, trying to shake off the slight blow to her confidence and/or ego. The next round...things were _not_ looking up for Emily. "Just getting warmed up," Emily said the second time JJ won, trying not to blush at the blonde's cocky leer. Third round? Downward spiral. "Just give me another three rounds!" Emily muttered after JJ's third victory. Halfway through the fourth round, Emily threw in the towel. "Ok, ok, you win and I _suck_ darts," the brunette said with a sigh of defeat, her competitive side wanting to strangle the blonde...only just a little. Emily knew she had to end this before she became an unsub herself. In the end, JJ was right...Emily was _way_ out of her league. As JJ shot Emily a smug smile and threw one of the last darts in her hand, winning a perfect bullseye, Emily rolled her eyes.

"Ok, how are you so good at this? Is _this_ what you do all day in that office of yours?" Emily asked as JJ laughed. "I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania," the blonde explained. "Back home, darts is like an olympic sport, some serious stuff." She paused, laughing at Emily's confused glance. "There wasn't much else for us to do." Emily smirked at her response as JJ gestured to where they were previously sitting by the bar. "Want one last round? You're buying, _loser,_ " JJ said teasingly. She pointed at Emily with the last dart, but it seemingly...er, _accidentally_ ...slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor. Emily didn't realize it at the time, but JJ had done that on purpose. Nevertheless, both women bent down to pick it up.

Emily's hand touched the plastic middle of the dart first. As her fingers moved to wrap around it, she nearly jumped out of her skin when JJ's hand fell on top of hers. Not moving an inch, Emily felt lithe fingers grabbing at Emily's with determination. Heart pounding, Emily stared at the smooth hand that was now enveloping hers. She was completely, _utterly_ still. Brown eyes flew up to meet smiling electric blues. "Uh...J...JJ?" Emily stuttered as the blonde smiled. The brunette swore she saw a blush on JJ's face. "You're such a _dork_ , you know that?" JJ replied smoothly, softly, and soothingly. Emily stared back at her, flabbergasted and red like a lobster.

And just as quickly as it had started, it had ended and Emily's hand found itself wrapped around the dart, alone. After JJ's hand recoiled and Emily's wits finally returned, Emily shakily picked up the dart. She stood up to see that JJ was already turned around, headed for the bar. She was clearly anticipating that last round that Emily owed her. Her face burning red, the brunette glanced at the dart, threw it, and didn't bother to watch where it even landed. Her eyes were on JJ...and they were stuck.

JJ was right. That night, Emily was in a fight...and she was losing bad.

**Ok, I don't know when I'll be updating, but probs before next week when I'm away. So...thanks for reading, I hope you like it. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey, so here's the third chapter to this mess. I'll be taking a week-long hiatus for some summer plans that were spared from being cancelled :) so there'll be a small gap. Also, just a reminder that this whole fic is kinda AU, as I changed a few stuff to add the thing we all love: drama. JEMILy drama. So yeah, I diverge from canon a bit throughout this whole thing. This relationship is NOT a happy, cutesy one. It's emotionally abusive and manipulative, and JEMILY will be pretty out of character at times. It's kinda angsty and a lil depressing. Emily is a softie and pretty ,uch the victim, and JJ is indecisive and at conflict with herself, causing her to be inconsiderate of Emily and how her own actions affect the other. I have no idea where the heck this came from, but my brain just felt like coming up with this :0. ANYHOO, thanks for reading, pls enjoy :D...**

Months after JJ and Emily's night at the bar, and that seconds-long incident, the two had become inseparable. They spent all day, everyday at work, but all night, every night, the two women found themselves either hitting the bars, having lazy pizza nights, or spending hours talking on the phone. Sleep? Of course they slept at one point, but that was the only time when they weren't in contact.

During this time, Emily's crush on JJ only grew stronger and more prevalent in her thoughts during the day and her dreams as she slept. That first night at the bar, that first touch, that look in JJ's eyes...it all replayed over and over in the brunette's mind.

Emily loved it, she loved hanging out with JJ, and she loved the fact that her closeness with JJ had encouraged everyone else on the team to not think she was so weird and awkward, encouraged them to invite her on their ventures outside of work. She could tell Morgan and Reid were a little-well, a lot- put-off by her mysterious appearance and the fact that she was replacing of their previous team member, and her quiet, private nature only seemed to top off their suspicions. But apparently, JJ had convinced them otherwise, she had told them that Emily wasn't as mysterious-ahem, boring- as she had seemed. There was some substance behind those awkward smiles, comments, and jokes. A sense of humor and wittiness that could allow for banter ad teasing. Before she knew it, she had won over the one and only Derek Morgan with her snarky and teasing humor, and the brilliant Spencer Reid with her mutual interest in literature, language, and...as JJ referred to it... "nerd stuff".

However, much to Emily's confusion-and slight worry-JJ never mentioned the whole hand-holding incident at the bar, not even that same night or the day after. Some days, Emily wondered if it ever really happened at all. She thought of it often, it seemed to consumed her thoughts with no consideration to anything distracted her from everything: work, driving, sleeping...but it was a welcome and beloved distraction that Emily had come to need. It distracted her from everything: work, driving, sleeping...but it was a welcome and beloved distraction that Emily had come to need. But JJ never seemed affected at all...did it even happen? Emily wanted to believe it did. Maybe her little crush on JJ had caused her to come up with some absurd fantasy of JJ reciprocating those feelings. Maybe she was a little creepy...

Soon enough, Emily became way comfortable in the BAU than before. Sure Hotch and Gideon still made her a little nervous, as they seemed to constantly make a point to scrutinize every little thing she did, analyze every question she asked or comment she made, and study anyone and everyone Emily knew from her mother's connections...but the majority of the team seemed to like her. Those two just really seemed resistant to liking her, and this made her nervous. So under scrutiny she stayed...wordlessly put in a doghouse. To say they were suspicious was definitely an understatement.

Overall, Emily still managed to find a much more comfortable and permanent place in her career, but there were still hard cases that challenged the whole BAU professionally, mentally, and emotionally. Cases like the Hankel case, the one where JJ was attacked by a barn of rabid dogs that had just ripped apart another woman. The one where JJ had lost track of Reid after they split up, allowing the unsub a chance to kidnap the boy genius. The one where essentially everyone on the team blamed Reid's capture on JJ. Everyone but Emily.

In the hours following Reid's kidnapping, the team began using Hankel's house as a temporary base for them to profile and search for any idea of just where the unsub was taking Reid and just who this Hankel guy was. Emily was thoroughly disgusted by its hopeless disarray, the dust bunny-zillas that prowled along every corner and wall, and not to mention the stench that brutally and animalistically attacked her nose. Emily was wandering around the house, trying to piece together the information she and Gideon had gained from the writing of "honor thy father" in Latin beneath the layer of wallpaper in one room. Suddenly, the brunette stopped in her tracks when she saw JJ leaning over the sink in an absolutely filthy bathroom, staring into the mirror with a look of horror in her wide blue eyes.

Emily didn't have time to even breath before the blonde whipped around, before finding herself at the wrong end of JJ's gun. Emily's stomach leapt as she raised her hands in alarm. "Hey, hey, hey!" she exclaimed, trying her best to keep her face calm, despite the situation. "JJ, it's me!" Emily stared at the frazzled woman, her dark eyes wide in alarm. She watched as the blonde immediately averted her eyes to the floor. When JJ met Emily's gaze again, the brunette saw something wild in those blue eyes. A wild look, a deer-in-headlights look. Emily's brows knit as her concern grew. "Are you alright?" she asked, her tone soft. She was genuinely getting more and more worried. She watched as JJ scrambled to holster her gun.

"Uh, yeah," JJ stammered, plastering on a reassuring smile that did not quite reach her eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry, you scared me!" She chuckled as Emily's eyes falling to the blood spattered on JJ's white blouse. Then, the thick bandage around JJ's arm. The blonde caught her staring and planted her hands on her hips subconsciously. The brunette slowly shook her head. "I'm sorry," Emily said softly, meeting JJ's gaze again. There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Emily decided to change the subject. "I'm talking tomorrow morning to some guy who knew Hankel from Narcotics Anonymous. Why don't you come with me? Get out of the house?" the brunette offered. The frazzled JJ tried to force another smile as she replied in a weak voice, "Yeah." Emily offered a small smile back. "Ok," she said, relieved for some reason. "Great." Emily began to walk away, deciding it was best to leave JJ to sort herself out after a long and undoubtedly emotionally-grueling day, but JJ stopped her.

"Emily," she called, stopping the brunette in her tracks. "Yeah?" Emily asked, but before she could take another breath, before she could blink, JJ was lunging towards her. Arms wrapped around Emily's neck and soft lips pressed against Emily's in a mixture of slow and fast movements. The brunette struggled at first, trying to move away, but JJ was persistent. She simply and mindlessly followed the other woman's movement, plunging them both into a deeper kiss. Despite her brain, which screamed for her to pull away, that JJ wasn't ok and kissing her like this wasn't a good idea, Emily finally melted into the kiss, making her heart sing in triumph. For months Emily had been harboring this little hope that something like this would happen, and here she was... finally kissing the blonde wonder that was Jennifer Jareau. The woman that had marched into her life and captivated her from the start.

As quickly as that kiss had started, it ended, acting as a burning and blatant reminder for Emily of the hand-holding incident in the bar that first night that they hung out. JJ suddenly shoved the other woman away, staring at the brunette as if she had been slapped. Emily stared back, flabbergasted herself. "Emily…" JJ repeated in a shaky voice that made Emily's stomach drop.

"How come none of this gets to you?"

The words sent an icicle through Emily's heart, and she was utterly stunned. What a cruel twist of fate, a terrible turn of events! JJ just...kissed her and then acted like nothing had happened. "What do you mean?" Emily asked with a frown, hurt flashing in her eyes. "You came off a desk job," JJ accused, once again trying for a failing smile. Emily averted her gaze momentarily, before she heard JJ continue, "Now you're suddenly in the field surrounded by mutilated bodies and...you don't even flinch." Then, Emily heard footsteps behind her, making her turn around quickly to find herself under the cold stare of her boss.

"She's right," she heard Hotch say, giving her a blank, unreadable expression that made her instantly nervous. Here he was to scrutinize her again. "You've never blinked." Emily looked between the two of them, feeling confused and seriously put on the spot. "I guess..." Emily began but trailed off, trying to think of a coherent response that would please Hotch so he could leave them. All she wanted was to know why it was that just moments ago, JJ kissed Emily hard...but now she was leading an interrogation of her, asking her questions and making her sound heartless. Because that's what it sounded like to the brunette, whether she wanted to admit it or not. "Maybe I compartmentalize better than most people," Emily decided, scrunching her brows. As Hotch was about to turn away, they heard Morgan yell from another room.

"Hey, guys! I think I got something!" he boomed, causing Hotch to whip around and rush away. Emily turned to face JJ, her mouth wide as she was about to say something, but JJ shot her a glare. "Not now, Emily," JJ sighed, walking right past the severely stunned, thoroughly confused, and slightly hurt brunette. Apparently her response hadn't satisfied the both of them, or JJ was mad at her slow and/or reluctant response to the question. Maybe JJ was mad they kissed. Either way, Emily knew she was in trouble with the blonde.

The next day, Emily met up with JJ, but neither of them brought up what happened in the bathroom the night before. JJ was still a little frazzled from losing Reid and the trauma of almost being mauled to death, and she was seriously giving Emily the cold shoulder. The brunette watched her body language, seeing that JJ hardly relaxed or even looked at Emily the entire car ride over to meet a man who knew the unsub that took Reid.

The rest of the case was hard and grueling and stressful, and JJ's disposition only seemed to worsen. She became more open with her guilt over Reid's kidnapping, as Emily overheard JJ and Morgan's slightly charged conversation in the kitchen at one point. She watched the blonde stress over the boy genius, even more so than the rest of the team. Emily watched as JJ openly shut her out, too, treating her like she had done something wrong...and Emily believed it. Without a doubt. Why else would JJ glare at her like she had? Why did Emily hesitate when JJ kissed her? Why did JJ seem to think that she was so heartless that she didn't mind the awful atrocities the job at the BAU exposed them all to? No, Emily knew for certain that she had done something wrong.

She had messed up and she had no idea what to do to fix it, or where to even start.

On the flight back to Quantico, Emily was sitting alone in the back corner of the jet reading a book she had grabbed from her bookshelf back at home, Catch 22. A totally random book to be reading at the time, but she had always liked it. Frankly, she was thankful to have time to read, to have time to stop worrying over Reid, time to try and dodge Hotch and Gideon's suspicious and/or scrutinizing glares, and time to stop thinking about JJ. She was especially glad to have time to stop thinking about the blonde who was clearly angry with her.

It had all begun to make Emily sick to her stomach. Especially the deal with JJ. Why it did that, the brunette couldn't say, but it did nonetheless. The idea of JJ being upset with her made her worried and nervous and sick all at the same time. It was becoming destructive, and Emily needed a break from that. So, she began reading and allowed for herself to become engrossed in the story...but of course that didn't last too long. Why would it?

Emily practically jumped out of her skin as JJ slid into the seat across from her, a thick gray blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl. Or a cape (Emily decided it looked like a cape). The brunette looked up from her book for a split second before bashfully looking back at the pages. JJ smiled softly at her, but Emily decided to keep reading...or at least stare at the pages until her brain could finally get the memo and start ignoring JJ again. Then, Emily frowned as her book was grabbed roughly from her hands and tossed dejectedly against the table, only a few inches away. "I was reading that," Emily said timidly. JJ raised a brow. "Really? I didn't notice. I thought you were staring at words randomly," she said sarcastically, but regretted it immediately as Emily squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. JJ frowned. "I think I'm going to go get coffee," Emily decided, sliding out of her seat. "You want some? I'll grab you a cup." JJ sighed and shook her head. The blonde watched as Emily walked to the kitchenette, and then turned around in her seat to make sure everyone else had fallen asleep. When she saw that they had, she followed Emily.

She found Emily pouring coffee, and she couldn't help but notice the brunette's body tense as JJ approached. "I think we should talk," the blonde said. Emily immediately met her eyes, her face turning from embarrassed to worried. "You're right, and I'm sorry!" Emily said. JJ scrunched her brows in confusion. "Wait, what?" she questioned. Emily bit her lip as she stirred some sugar into her coffee. "You were mad at me, and so I'm sorry for what I did," the brunette explained. JJ began to chuckle, which made Emily stare back in confusion. "What?" she demanded timidly, her face turning a light pink hue. "I wasn't mad, you dork. Not at you," JJ explained. "I was mad at me. I was mad that I let Reid get kidnapped, mad that I let you find me falling apart in the bathroom...mad that I wasn't strong like you, Emily."

Emily huffed as she took a sip of her coffee. "I'm not strong, JJ," she argued. "It isn't wrong for you to be upset, everyone was." JJ nodded, a smirk forming on her lips, and Emily couldn't help but smirk back herself. Then, a mischievous gleam entered JJ's eyes, and Emily found her hands being guided by JJ's to put her coffee back down on the counter. "I know what's really on your mind, you know," JJ said slyly. Emily felt her face heat up immediately. "Jayje…" she began, but JJ whipped around to glance at their team, confirmed that the coast was clear, and much like the instance in the bathroom back at Hankel's place, JJ captured Emily's lips with her own. This time, however, Emily was quicker ad much more receptive, as she jumped right into the kiss. JJ giggled softly at the brunette's eagerness. It was a short kiss, but it left JJ laughing lightheartedly and Emily as red as a tomato with a wide, goofy, love-sick grin. JJ smirked to herself. Hook, line, and sinker...

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now, Prentiss," JJ said with a smirk. Emily smiled back, but it began to quiver as she realized something. "Wait...JJ?" she asked in a smaller voice. "How did you..when...did I…" she stammered, but the blonde pressed a finger across Emily's lips. "Oh, my sweet Emily, I knew right away," she said with a teasing tone and playful smile. "When I first met you, I knew you weren't interested in any guys at work, or any guys at all for that matter. It was kind of obvious. Especially when I started noticing how awkward and extra dorky you get around me." Emily rolled her eyes. "Why are you always calling me dorky?" she demanded with a pout. The blonde chuckled triumphantly and squeezed Emily's hand. "Take it as a compliment," she said. "Emily, it's my favorite thing about you. It's what made me realize…" she trailed off on purpose, not finishing her thought. She smiled as she saw that this was driving Emily insane. "Realize what?!" Emily demanded impatiently, making JJ laugh again. "That I like you," JJ said matter of factly. "I really like you, Emily Prentiss. More than I ever thought I could like a girl before. I think I may be falling for you. Sort of, but not completely." Emily raised a brow, slightly off-put by that last part. "What do you mean sort of? What am I doing that-"

JJ rolled her eyes with another amused chuckle as she took Emily's hand in hers again. "You are just fine, Emily," she promised. "I was just being dramatic. And a little jerky." Emily blushed, a smile slowly but steadily spreading across her face as JJ squeezed her hand. And for a moment, time seemed to stand still.

**A/N: Ok, thanks for reading again! It means a lot, I am having fun with this lil thing. Just remember...our girl Em is really in for it now. Next chapter will be out sometime after the 19th I think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so in case anyone noticed and was confused, I posted the wrong chapter. Ahaha ha...I’m dumb, so sorry. Don’t look at me lol. <3

“You ready?” 

Emily had to clench her jaw to keep it from dropping as she watched JJ get out of the car. Her wavy blonde hair cascaded over her narrow shoulders, sitting above the perfect white criss-cross blouse. Her blue skinny jeans wrapped around her thin legs perfectly, and the black heels on her feet made her as tall as Emily. Emily swallowed hard as JJ stared at her. 

“Um, earth to Emily!” JJ chuckled, poking Emily’s stomach playfully. The brunette instinctively shrank away with a chuckle. “Sorry,” she said awkwardly. “But, uh, yeah I’m good, let’s go.” JJ rolled her eyes playfully as she took Emily by the arm and pulled her towards the entrance of the mall. Emily nearly tripped as she tried to keep up with JJ’s pace, but that only worked against her as the blonde laughed at Emily’s struggle, and was encouraged to only move faster rather than slow down. 

“When I twist my ankle and fall on my face, you know who I’ll be suing,” Emily muttered, fighting back a smile. JJ raised her brows innocently. “The mall for their dangerous parking lot?” She asked, clearly fighting back a smile herself. Emily scoffed.“Yeah, _that’s_ who,” Emily chuckled. JJ winked at her. “I know a good lawyer. I can give you her number.”

Hours later, Emily groaned as JJ bounded for the eleventh shop of their visit. Her arms were already occupied by three bags each, and the brunette only knew that more would only pile on if JJ’s spree continued at this rate. “Jesus, Em,” JJ chuckled as she winked. “You look like I’m making you carry the weight of the world on those narrow shoulders of yours.” Emily straighten herself as she chuckled. She noticed a new twinge in her back that was probably from all the excess weight. “Well, I would say it’s pretty close. And need be, you would _totally_ not hesitate to ask,” she replied in banter. The blonde raised a brow and yanked on Emily’s arm, pulling her into a new store.

Emily’s nose was instantly assaulted with the overbearing scent of artificial flower scents, and the brunette profiler felt her stomach lurch in response. “ _Jesus,_ ” she groaned, trying to cover her nose, but the bags of clothes suddenly seemed to weigh her down even more. “JJ, I think I may vomit,” she gagged dramatically, making JJ roll her eyes. “Come _on_ , Em!” she chuckled. “This is a clothes and perfume shop. You’re supposed to _like_ the smell!”

“It smells like a bunch of flowers vomited into this place.”

“Please come in, it’s for a good cause.”

“Which is?” 

“To make Jennifer Jareau happy. You should try it.”

Emily couldn’t help but smile at that last remark, and JJ saw. “That’s a good girl,” she teased, playfully kissing Emily’s cheek. The brunette instantly felt her heart beat faster, and she glanced around to see if anyone had seen, but JJ was good at this...keeping this quiet. No one saw, no one ever did. It was pretty much the blonde’s specialty.

All the hiding and secrets and JJ’s surprisingly good ability at keeping their relationship on the DL, of course, became a bit of a rush for Emily. It was like some sappy romance novel or a cheeky story of a forbidden love that she had read in high school. The rush from being JJ’s little secret excited Emily. In her mind, it greatly outweighed the doubts that came with being someone’s secret, and it certainly beat being ‘just friends’. 

“Just one more store,” JJ promised as Emily opened her mouth to protest. “And then we can go to whatever nerd store _you_ want, or we can see whatever nerd movie you want if it's in the theaters.” Emily raised a brow. “Nerd?” she asked with a scoff. JJ shrugged. “Don’t look at me like that, Emily, you’re the one that likes Star Trek and that Kurt-author-guy. I’m not familiar with that...uh, _stuff._ ” Emily sighed. “Jesus, JJ, you make it sound like a _disease_ ,” she laughed, shrugging it off, but JJ was no longer listening anyway.It was then that the brunette noticed that JJ was beginning to walk away, bounding straight for a display of Chanel perfumes. Admitting defeat, Emily just waited for JJ by the door, trying not to puke from the pungent odor of perfumes, sweet and musky. It was _not_ a pleasant mixture _at all._

JJ browsed the store for a whole hour, and since Emily was so awkward in a store like that one--one with a style Emily herself didn’t wear or like that much, with a clientele of other young women that stared awkwardly at Emily’s outfit--she decided to walk back to meet JJ and attempt small talk. “So um, what store was this one?” she asked. JJ chuckled. “Didn’t you read the sign, Em? Vanessa’s I think,” she replied, her voice far away. Emily bit her lip. “Oh, right,” Emily said. “But it seems nice.” JJ only hummed in agreement, as her eyes were fixed on the hangers of clothing, her hands quickly moving dresses and shirts aside.

“What are you looking for?” Emily asked meekly. JJ shrugged. “Anything I like, and _especially_ if it's on sale,” she replied. Emily was about to say something else, but stopped when she decided she was probably bothering JJ. She just shut her mouth and imagined what fresh, scentless air would be like.

In the end, JJ had immediately forgotten her promise of ‘one last store’ to Emily, and the two ended up visiting three more stores. Another clothes store, one of those strange but interesting incense stores, and a shoe store. Before she knew what hit her, Emily was carrying four more bags.

While they were walking out of the mall, Emily invited JJ over to her apartment for pizza and drinks, and she was thrilled when the blonde accepted. So, Emily loaded JJ’s bags into her car and drove them to her home. It was not that long of a ride, as they arrived in about fifteen minutes, and JJ occupied the time by commenting on Emily’s driving.

“You do realize the speed limit is 45, right?” She teased. Emily glanced at her speedometer. “I’m going 45,” Emily replied confusedly. JJ frowned as she watched the cars around her speed past. “Well you’re driving like my grandma compared to everyone else. And you actually use the turn signals?” Emily chuckled. “Well, yeah JJ, ” She replied, shooting her passenger a sheepish smirk. JJ shook her head with a chuckle. “I know that’s what’s _legal_ , but nobody pays attention to them. I’m actually impressed you still try,” the blonde admitted. Emily shrugged.

“I’m afraid to ever ride in your car when _you_ drive. You sound like you belong in Florida.”

“Ha, ha, ha. I guess that’s why you take forever to get anywhere.”

“And now I know you’re always early because you ran over at least three people on the way.” 

The blonde shot Emily a look, but nevertheless unbuckled her seatbelt and allowed for Emily to lead her into the apartment building. 

JJ laughed as she walked through the door of Emily’s apartment for the first time. “What?” Emily asked with a chuckle. JJ shot her a playful glance. “I expected to see more Doctor Who and other sci-fi posters lying around,” she teased. “Maybe some figurines, limited editions in glass boxes. You know, what you would normally expect from Emily Prentiss.” Emily rolled her eyes with a smile. “I assume you’re not much of a fan, huh?” the brunette deadpanned. JJ shook her head. “Emily, you are plenty dorky, and _more_ than enough for the two of us. You are only second to Reid,” the blonde said as Emily took her jacket for her and hung it in the closet by the door. 

“Well, sorry to disappoint you,” Emily said as she led JJ to her living room. “Next time you drop by, I’ll make sure I have more ‘nerd stuff’ for you to make fun of.” She turned to face her guest, who raised a brow. Emily then smiled as she felt a hand grab onto and squeeze hers. “Next time?” JJ asked with a smug smirk. Emily shrugged with a clearly smitten grin. “Of course,” Emily replied, maybe a little too quickly. “Anytime you want, J.” The blonde smirked as she flopped down onto Emily’s couch. “Only if you promise me a pizza every time,” JJ teased. Emily stared at her seriously, her dark eyes revealing her adoration for the media liaison. “Of course,” she replied. “Anything for you.”

JJ raised her brows and gestured towards the door. “Where’s the pizza?” She smirked. Emily sighed as she dug out her phone from her pocket. “Coming right up, alright?” She joked as she scrolled through her contacts. JJ shrugged. “That’s ‘yes sir’ to _you_ , Prentiss.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I made a mistake with my order, so I deleted and moved two chapters around. So um...sorry about that, it was my mistake. I’m still learning.

Two months later, the BAU found themselves being called down to New Orleans to assist with a string of murders. By then, Emily and JJ had become even closer and even more inseparable, but the only person that knew about their relationship was a certain technical goddess. Since JJ was so close to her, she was eager to share with her friend that she was currently spending a _lot_ of time with a certain mysterious brunette that also happened to be the BAU’s newbie. Other than Garcia, Emily was JJ’s little secret, which was a thrill to the two of them. Sneaking to each other’s apartments for make out sessions and drinks. Sleepless nights filled with flirtatious banter over the phone. So far, both of them seemed over the moon and really into their secret _arrangement_.

However, on the plane ride down to Louisiana, Emily noticed her tensions with Reid were only increasing. She knew that he had been through a lot, and she worried about how he was doing. Sure she had only been around for a few Monet he now, but she had grown fond of Reid and just wanted to keep an eye out in case he ever needed anything. Yet, her efforts were only met with an unexpected hostility, 

Emily had tried to joke with him, but _once again_ , Reid snapped at her and completely shut her down, leaving her to apologize with an awkward “my bad”. The rest of the time on the plane, she watched as the boy genius kept glancing at her with scowls—or even worse, those cold blank stares that were second only to Hotch’s— and JJ could tell that there was definitely something very wrong with Reid. She could also see that his strange behavior was both upsetting and worrying Emily. 

Deciding to act, blonde eventually stole Emily away from the team remind her that Reid was struggling and that whatever Reid was going through was not her fault, and it worked. That smile returned to Emily’s face. _Over the moon_ , she repeated in her mind. However, the brunette profiler could not foresee the situation she was about to find herself in once they met the lead detective. 

\-- --

Emily watched with a scoff as Detective LaMontagne flashed JJ a wide and flirtatious smile that made Emily’s skin crawl. She waited for JJ to look away or glance at her awkwardly, but she was shocked when she saw what JJ _actually_ did. The blonde actually smiled back, matching his grin almost identically. Emily felt a harsh pang in her chest as she watched him struggle to hold in a chuckle, and Emily suddenly wanted to shoot him. _Really_ badly. She finally met Morgan’s eyes and saw him raise his brows in confusion. His eyes bounced between JJ, the detective, Emily, catching onto the brunette’s annoyance. 

Then, Morgan realized the triangle that he had just made with his glances, and he quickly began connecting the dots. _It all made sense_ . He had been convinced for a _weeks_ now that Emily had a crush on JJ, and the way that Emily was reacting to LaMontagne’s flirting—the glares and uncomfortable clenching of her jaw— only confirmed his suspicions. What he _didn’t_ know, however, was that Emily wasn’t just crushing on the blonde, she was falling in love with her, and they were both supposed to be in a relationship. No, an _arrangement_ , mind you. 

Emily again clenched her jaw as she peeled her eyes away from the whole scene. The indecency this _bastard of a detective_ was showing...flirting with _Emily’s_ girlfriend---wait, no, _arrangement,_ Emily chided herself. JJ wasn’t her girlfriend, they didn’t have a relationship, and neither of them had used the four-letter L word,not ever. Still, this crawfish-faced _clown_ was really starting to get on Emily’s nerves, and she made a mental note to talk to JJ later. 

When the team and LaMontagne decided to head for the precinct to begin comparing notes and forming the beginnings of a profile, Morgan approached Emily and took her arm. “Hey Princess, what’s got _you_ all bent out of shape?” he asked, despite him already being able to tell. Anyone with _eyes_ would probably be able to tell at this point. “Nothing,” Emily muttered, her angry, glaring eyes stuck on the sight of JJ and LaMontagne as they walked together. “You like her, don’t you?” Morgan blurted. Emily stared at him with shock that was slightly real, slightly fake. He knew. She was shocked he figured them out, but she needed to try to convince him otherwise. JJ wanted it to be a secret, and Emily wanted JJ to be happy. If she let Morgan figure them out, JJ would _not_ be happy.

“What?” she asked, making her face void of emotion. “ _Like_ like JJ? Morgan, come on.” It was the hurt in her eyes that told Morgan that she was lying, but he opted to leave _that_ alone for a while. He still didn’t know the facts, and now was not the time. “Ok, then why do you look like you want to strangle LaMontagne?” he asked with a raised brow. Emily scowled. “Because he’s flirting on a crime scene...in _front of a dead body_ !” she said exasperatedly. Morgan stroked his chin. “Ok, good point,” he muttered. He watched as Emily sighed and slumped her shoulders. “JJ’s probably just playing along because it was such an awkward time and place to flirt. He doesn’t mean anything to her,” she rationalized, but to Morgan, it only sounded like he wasn’t the one she was trying to convince. She was trying to convince _herself_. “Uh huh,” he mused, playing along despite his suspicions only becoming more confirmed by every passing second. “Maybe you should ask her about it,” Morgan suggested,but she was already walking away.

\-- -- 

The case continued on, the team determined it was a Jack the Ripper copycat killer, and Emily was forced to watch in silence as Detective LaMontagne had free reign to flirt and chatter with JJ. They walked together, shared smiles, and exchanged sarcastic remarks between crime scenes. The worst part was that JJ never showed any sign of disinterest in him, she only ever played along and... _encouraged_ it. He would flirt and smirk at her, and she would smile and banter right back. When they were partnered up to scout for the unsub in a bar, Emily was less than pleased. Especially since she was being sent with Morgan and Reid in the jet to talk to the latest victim’s fiancée. Yes, with Morgan—the one who was already onto JJ and Emily’s _arrangement_ — and Reid—the one who hated Emily at the moment. 

Emily sat in the BAU jet as she awaited her partners so they could fly out to meet the victim’s fiancee. She stared at the closed file in her lap, but the only thing going through her head were rushed, angry, and jealous thoughts as she imagined what JJ and that damned detective were doing. She was annoyed that she felt the need to keep an eye on them, annoyed that she couldn’t trust JJ enough to not be flirting with him...a guy, no less. As she was stewing, she heard Morgan come onto the jet, and she snapped out of it as he greeted her.

“Hey,” Morgan said as he put his bag down in the seat beside her. “Hey,” she replied back with a sigh before she looked around him, confused that she didn’t see Reid. Morgan followed her gaze and then looked back at her, equally confused. “Where’s Reid?” he asked. Emily bit back the curse that she had wanted to utter, opting to stare at Morgan in shock instead. Because honestly...what the _hell_ Reid? What was he doing, Emily wondered. 

“I was hoping he was with _you_ ,” Emily replied. Morgan took a seat before looking back at the brunette.

“I thought you said you called him.” 

“I did, four times! _Nothing_.” 

Emily glanced at her watch. “The victim’s fiancée is expecting us,” she said. “What are we supposed to do?” She watched as Morgan slumped in his seat, letting out a long sigh. He looked as annoyed and at a loss for words than she was. “We only got one option,” he said. “Wheels up.” He moved to stand up, but the look on her face made him stop. 

“Are you ok?” He asked, furrowing his brows. Emily looked at him strangely. “Yeah, I’m just annoyed,” she admitted. “Reid is supposed to be here with the team but he’s just gone and run off—” Morgan sighed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, Emily. You can deny it all you want, but you’re mad that JJ is flirting with LaMontagne,” he said forcefully, no longer willing to beat around the bush. Emily scoffed. “No, no, _he’s_ flirting with _her!_ ” She clarified, not realizing that she had pretty much just outed the fact that she _was_ upset about it. Morgan just sighed. “Then you’re jealous, obviously, but the question is are you jealous he’s flirting with JJ, or that he’s _not_ flirting with _you_ ,” he reasoned. Emily froze.

Then, she started laughing...hard. Harder than she wanted to, harder than what was probably appropriate, and she had no idea why. Morgan just grimaced and looked at her strangely. “Oh god no!” Emily chuckled, finally calming down a bit. “If he _did_ flirt with me at a crime scene, he wouldn’t have just walked away. I would have let him have a black eye...or two.” Morgan couldn’t help but snicker at the comment, but he still wanted a straight answer. “So you _do_ like JJ. You’re jealous that LaMontagne is flirting with her and she’s not refusing him. Emily, come on. It’s obvious, clear as day,” he insisted, reaching over the seat to put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not judging you, Prentiss.”

Emily sighed, hanging her head. “I know you’re not, and even if you did, it wouldn’t stop me. But that’s not the reason I’ve been um… _bending_ the truth,” she admitted, feeling suddenly self-conscious and exposed. “The real reason is….” she bit her lip and Morgan sighed, raising his brows as he urged her to continue. Emily sighed. “The real reason is that me and JJ have been together for a few months now. But JJ wants to keep this whole thing...our _arrangement_ secret.” 

Morgan nearly laughed in surprise. “ _Arrangement?_ ” He repeated. Emily nodded sheepishly, trying for a smile. “Wow, so it’s been a few months, huh? Has anyone else found out about you guys?” The brunette took a deep breath before wiping her now sweaty hands on her pants. “Garcia, but that’s because JJ couldn’t lie to her for long...she really has a way of finding things out,” she muttered. “But besides her, no one knows.” 

Morgan frowned. “Ok, but why would JJ want to keep this a secret? And if you guys have been in a relationship... _arrangement_ thing, why is she flirting with Will?” He asked. 

Emily grimaced as she met his eyes, and once again, Morgan saw the anger in those deep brown irises...but now there was also hurt. She was clearly upset, and by the look on her face, Morgan could see that Emily wanted to know the answers to those questions herself. 


	6. Chapter 6

The next big break the team had on the profile was found after Emily and Morgan spoke with the victim’s fiancée, and together, they realized that the unsub had to be a woman that was targeting men. This meant the profile _really_ needed to be adjusted, but also that this case would probably take a bit longer now that their suspect pool had practically done a 180 _._ But why was this woman targeting the men, and who did they represent to her? What triggered the killing, and how long ago did it happen? Why did she start her killing spree now? _That’s_ what the BAU team still had to figure out, and this meant two things: _one_ , that they would have to hurry, and _two_ , that the whole team would have to regroup at the New Orleans police precinct to begin adjusting the profile.

Oh, and _that_ meant Emily would have to continue to watch as that pathetic excuse for a detective continued his indecorous and uninvited flirting with JJ. 

She would have to watch as JJ encouraged it, as she flirted back. She would have to watch _silently_ , she would have to _allow_ it, and she would have to continue working like it didn’t _bother her in the slightest_ . She would have to _leave it alone_ for now. 

Oh,and of course, on top of _that,_ Emily still had to deal with the confusing and obvious elephant-in-the-room hostilities between her and Reid. She was still annoyed that he had ignored her calls (for their _case,_ of all things), and she was beyond _done_ with being the target of his frustrations. 

Emily cursed under her breath as all these realizations crossed her mind, making her dread the upcoming day more and more. Morgan quickly noticed her change in demeanor from the driver’s seat, and desperately tried for small talk, but Emily was far too deep in thought, so he just opted to let her be. He didn’t like this, of course. He didn’t like that Emily had so much to deal with, and he especially didn’t like that JJ was the cause for most of it. Didn’t she know that Emily obviously _cared_ about her, that she was upset by her flirting with the detective? Or did she just not even _care_ about what Emily thought or felt? Whichever it was, Morgan was annoyed by JJ’s behavior and all he wanted was to help his friend. But what could _he_ possibly do? 

Nevertheless, Morgan and Prentiss arrived back at the New Orleans French Quarter precinct in the morning to revise both their notes and the profile, and Emily couldn’t help but glance up from her work when she saw Detective LaMontagne walk past with JJ following at his heels. Emily then turned to Morgan to see if he had noticed her attention drifting, and once she was sure she was in the clear, she allowed herself to watch the detective and the media liaison from the work table. They were just out of earshot, so Emily couldn’t hear what was being said, but she was perfectly fine with just watching them. After all, actions _do_ speak louder than words. 

Judging by the way that LaMontagne had his hands planted firmly on his hips, and how JJ faced him with her arms crossed, Emily assumed they were having some sort of argument. The brunette felt her heart beat faster as she realized what this could mean. If they were arguing, obviously _something_ had happened. Obviously LaMontagne has done _something_ that upset JJ, making the blonde see him for the oversexed, shameless, clown of a man that he was. Maybe now, JJ would _finally_ stop giving into and encouraging his bogus, unwarranted, and _unwanted_ advances. Finally. Emily couldn’t help but feel hopeful. She sure as heck didn’t feel bad for enjoying it, either. 

Finally, LaMontagne sighed and walked away, leaving JJ to stare after him. Emily quickly glanced back at Morgan, but this time he was looking right at her. The locked eyes. He had caught her watching, but by the way he looked back down at the photos and notes on the table, she knew that he wasn’t upset with her being distracted from their work. She could’ve sworn that Morgan was even _encouraging_ her to watch. 

Seeing that Morgan was in support of her, Emily contemplated even walking up to JJ to check on her. Maybe LaMontagne had offended her at the bar? Ugh, if he had, Emily was sure going to settle things, she was sure going to stand up for JJ. That was her job, wasn't it? Keeping JJ happy. Yes, that’s what Emily wanted, and that was exactly what Emily was going to do.

But just as Emily was about to stand up, JJ began following LaMontagne. The blonde was moving slowly, almost as if she was in a daze, and Emily felt her heart clench as she had just blown the perfect moment to check on JJ, to check on the condition of their _arrangement,_ and most importantly, punch the living daylights out of that damned detective. Emily couldn’t help but wonder...if they were arguing, why would JJ follow? If he had done something, why would she chase after him? If she and JJ were in a relationship, why would she—no, they weren’t a couple, Emily remembered. JJ didn’t want a label other than _arrangement_. Technically, JJ had all the right in the world to flirt with LaMontagne. 

But that didn’t mean that Emily had to be happy about it.

Soon enough, JJ was gone, pursuing the detective, and the brunette soon realized someone _else_ was sitting down at the table. Emily turned to see Reid plopping down into a seat, holding a cup of coffee. “Hey you guys are back from Galveston?” He asked, settling in his spot. Morgan and Emily looked up at him, both with their brows knit.

“First light this morning, where were you?” Morgan gruffed. Reid averted his gaze and instead focused on rummaging through his satchel for his notebook. “I was out with a friend, I told you,” the boy genius replied nonchalantly. Emily stared at him, unamused and unconvinced. “I called you _four times_ ,” she said. She watched as Reid settled his notebook onto the table, pursing his lips. “I didn’t have any cell phone reception, so I didn’t get your message until late,” he replied, not even looking at her. Emily fought the urge to call him out on his shabbily constructed excuse, and instead bit her tongue. 

“Right,” Emily said, her time sharp and full of annoyance. This was all just _too much_. It would take way too much energy to deal with the young profiler, energy that she reasoned would be better spent on the case, on getting justice for the victims and their families. 

“So what’s going on?” Reid asked nonchalantly, as Emily looked back at the papers and photos in front of her, and Morgan glared at him, his brows furrowed. “Our unsub’s a woman,” he began, but Hotch suddenly appeared behind Reid, his expression making it clear that what he had to say was important.

“We just found another body in the Quarter,” Hotch announced with a frown. He turned to walk away immediately, and without batting an eye, the other three quickly moved to stand up. Reid jumped to his feet and followed the unit chief as if he hadn’t been blowing off his job and purposely pissing Emily off. The brunette couldn’t help but glare at the back of his head, as she rose to her feet herself, but Morgan shot her a look that told her to calm down, but also to reassure her. 

To reassure her...of _what_ , Emily couldn’t say for sure. Sure the whole Reid situation was practically broadcasted to not only the whole team, but also the whole police precinct, but Emily couldn’t afford to forget that Morgan now knew about Emily and JJ. Was he reassuring her that Reid’s behavior was not her fault, or that everything between her and JJ will work out? Honestly, Emily would preferred to have just settled for _one_ of those options, as she knew she could deal with a maximum one emotional stressor at a time. The two of these were just _too much._

\-- -- 

About four hours after studying the newest crime scene with Hotch, Morgan, Reid, Gideon, and LaMontagne, Emily found herself in the hotel room she shared with JJ, standing in front of the closet. She was holding up the top she had picked to wear to the Mardi Gras party in an hour. Since the unsub was showing no signs of slowing down her rampage, the BAU had decided it was best to attend the next big party undercover in an attempt to pick out any suspects. With a sigh, Emily took off her work shirt and slipped on the purple, loudly-patterned tank top. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the hotel door click shut behind her. 

“Hey,” she heard JJ say behind her. The brunette quickly turned to face her, a shy smile on her face. “Uh, hey,” Emily said, trying to make up for the awkward way she had stared at her friend at first. “Did I scare you?” JJ asked, a mischievous smile on her face, one that unconsciously made Emily smile wider. “Um, no,” Emily lied, tucking her hands into her front pockets. JJ raised her brows amusedly, clearly not buying the brunette’s denial. “Ok, Emily. Sure,” she chuckled, shaking her head.

“You wearing that tonight?” JJ asked, her eyes settling on Emily’s shirt. “It’s gorgeous. You look amazing.” She stepped closer to Emily and traced a finger across Emily’s belly, making the brunette shiver. “Too bad we’ll be working,” JJ continued. “Will told me about this special drink that people around here really like. Wish we could try it.” Emily raised a brow, reaching her hand slowly to still JJ’s wandering hand. “Will?” she repeated incredulously, with a slight hint of the jealousy that had been wracking her for days now. JJ rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Sorry, _LaMontagne_ ,” she corrected. “But maybe when we’re done--” Emily sighed and sat down on the bed, her arms crossing self-consciously over her chest. 

“So you two are on a first name basis, huh?” she demanded, she herself hating how jealous she sounded. But hey, this was JJ. They had a thing going, or so she thought, and all Emily wanted was to know why the blonde was so quick to flirt with the detective they all barely knew. “Um, yeah,” JJ said with a laugh, now crossing her arms too. “We are too, Emily.” The brunette bit her lip and shook her head. “Yeah, but we’ve known each other for a way longer time, JJ. You just met this guy, and you’re already acting like some lovesick couple, and it actually kind of disrupted the case,” Emily argued. 

JJ scoffed, now moving her hands to her hips as she laughed. “Wow, ok,” JJ mused in disbelief. “You’re jealous? Of _what_ , Emily? Will...LaMontagne is a nice guy and we work well together. We also enjoy each other’s company, ok? That’s it.” she frowned when Emily didn’t meet her eyes, seeing that the brunette was staring dejectedly at the floor, clearly ashamed of her jealousy. JJ smirked. 

“Come on, Em,” she said, softer this time. She moved closer to take Emily’s hand, bringing warm brown eyes to meet her blue ones. “Why would you be jealous? That’s just crazy. LaMontagne and I are just coworkers for now, and then once we catch the unsub, we’re all going back home. So don’t be upset, Em, because that’s just silly.” JJ playfully hit Emily’s shoulder, and Emily couldn’t help the heat she felt sneak its way up her neck to her face. 

Then, JJ sighed as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and read a text from Hotch. “It's time to go,” she sighed. Emily pursed her lips and nodded. “Right,” she said quietly. She stood up and straightened her shirt, but JJ stopped her. She placed a gentle hand on Emily’s cheek and smiled at her before moving in to kiss her tenderly. 

And just like that, Emily forgot all about their previous conversation. With just one kiss, her jealousy, her worry, and her annoyance all drained away, and disappeared. _Crazy. Silly._ Maybe Emily was crazy to be jealous of JJ and LaMontagne. JJ just kissed _her,_ so no worries, right? Seeing the way that JJ was looking at her, the fact that they were kissing made Emily see that maybe she was acting silly after all. She was crazy to doubt the blonde.

When they finally pulled away, JJ patted Emily’s cheek and winked as she slipped her phone into her pocket. “Let’s go,” JJ said. Emily nodded and followed the blonde, and blushed as she almost tripped over her due to an abrupt and unexpected stop on JJ’s part. “So forget about me and Will, ok? Just don’t even think or worry your dorky little head about that,” JJ told her. Emily nodded with a bite to her bottom lip.

There it was again. Will. JJ called her temporary “coworker” Will, his first name. _Crazy. Silly._ Emily sighed to herself, but smiled at JJ nonetheless and nodded. “Sure, JJ,” she replied, watching as the blonde led their way out of the room.

“But I’m not a dork.”

\-- -- 

The end of that case was far from easy for the team, and Emily couldn’t help but feel like the unsub was the real victim, the person who really deserved help. The person who Emily felt the law enforcement of New Orleans failed in the long run. Arresting her, a rape victim who was ignored by the police and had her case dismissed out of disinterest, made Emily’s chest tighten and though the team had arrived just on time for LaMontagne to talk her down from killing another man, it sure as hell did not feel like a win. Not for anybody. She was charged with personally escorting the unsub into a police car, and as she took one last glance at Sarah Danlin before closing the door, Emily couldn’t help but feel guilty. With a sigh, she turned away just in time to see JJ talking to a certain male detective, and despite her earlier heart-to-heart with JJ, she felt that twinge of jealousy wracking her gut again. She crossed her arms over her chest as she slowly walked forwards, but it was far too loud with all the sirens and chatter among the police to make out any conversation, and it was far too dark to even attempt at reading lips. 

LaMontagne was leaned against his police car, both hands in his pockets, with a glum expression on his face as he talked to JJ. Emily raised a brow at this sight, as he didn't seem too flirtatious at the moment. _Maybe he managed to gain a little decency_ , Emily thought to herself, her dark eyes still fixated on the two. JJ leaned against the car next to him, a little closer than Emily would have liked, and LaMontagne looked up at her. Emily watched them talk, despite not having a clue what was being said, but was again hopeful from the way LaMontagne kept looking at the ground glumly and JJ just watched him. Maybe she had decided to make it clear that she wasn’t interested. That she was _taken._ Emily rolled her eyes at that thought. _Getting ahead of yourself as usual, Prentiss_ , she chastised herself. JJ wasn’t taken by anyone, especially not _her._ JJ didn’t want a ‘relationship’ with anyone. Everything with Emily was casual for the blonde. Emily knew it and was close to accepting it. JJ didn’t like labels, so Emily needed to respect that. She was lucky to _have_ JJ at all. As a friend...friend with benefits, even. _Wait...no labels,_ Emily remembered. 

Emily was snapped out of her thoughts by an unexpected smile from LaMontagne. _What the heck?_ Then, she nearly fell over when she saw JJ hand him something. It was small and looked like paper from where the brunette stood, but she couldn’t be too sure. When she saw JJ was headed her way, she panicked. Emily quickly turned around to face the other direction and pulled out her phone, deciding to pretend to call someone. She scrolled through her contacts quickly, knowing that she needed someone to call quick, and that someone she knew would not answer. She sighed as she settled on her mother, and dialed the number. Like she suspected, there was no answer, and just as the call reached the infamous Ambassador Prentiss’ answering machine, JJ was right behind her saying, “Hey you.” 

Emily pursed her lips as she turned around. She sighed as she pressed the end call button, and slipped the phone into her jacket pocket. “Hey,” she said quietly, nearly wincing at the cold edge to her tone. Judging by the way that JJ raised her brows, she had heard it too. The blonde shook her head with a sigh. “You aren’t as stealthy as you think, you know,” she mused, planting her hands on her hips with a smirk. “LaMontagne and I both noticed you staring. You look ridiculous.” Emily shrugged. “Look, I’m just watching out for you, and I will never apologize for that,” she replied coolly.

  
“But I do realize that at the end of the day, you’re your own person, Jayje,” Emily continued, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. “So you talk to...or _flirt_ with whoever you want.” JJ suddenly smiled, and Emily couldn't help but mirror it as she saw a new gleam in the blonde’s bright cerulean eyes. “You are so sappy, it's sweet,” she teased, making the brunette blush. “Wha-what?!” Emily stammered. JJ just poked Emily’s belly. “Just quit it with the jealousy, ok? I just gave LaMontagne a few bucks I owe him from yesterday. We were having a drink and then it got ruined by the case. I still figured I should pay him back, so that’s that,” JJ said to her. “So just stop with the worrying, ok? Just trust me.”

Getting a drink with him? While they were working? When was that? Emily sighed. It must have been when the two were paired up at the bar. Apparently, yet again, finding the murderer of several men was at the back of JJ and LaMontagne’s heads. 

_Trust me._ JJ wanted Emily to forget about LaMontagne, to stop being jealous and _trust_ her. Emily bit her lip, deciding to shove aside any ill feelings at that moment. If that’s what JJ wanted, if that’s what would make her happy, Emily would have to do it.

Emily nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Yeah, ok.”


	7. Chapter 7

Though the situation in New Orleans with Will LaMontagne had been uncomfortable, unpleasant...and un _becoming_ , Emily and JJ’s relationship... _arrangement..._ in the months following was different than before, in a _good_ way, and the brunette couldn’t have been more grateful. And _relieved,_ for that matter. In all honesty, she had expected some sort of retribution or at least the cold shoulder from JJ, but no, the two only seemed to become stronger. However, despite herself and her sheer joy that the blonde wasn’t angry at her, Emily couldn’t help but feel that something was off. 

_What_ exactly was off with the situation, the brunette couldn’t say for sure. It _did_ seem weird that JJ never mentioned Emily’s jealousy back in New Orleans, or even the detective for that manner, as Emily knew it had bothered JJ, but Emily assumed that her suspicion was just some sort of twisted guilt over it all. She wasn’t proud of how she had confronted JJ or when she spied on her and LaMontagne, so maybe it was just guilt that made the brunette feel something was amiss. Yes, the guilt must be it. 

Despite her _guilt_ about the last case, things with JJ felt comfortable. Their time together increased, but it was mainly because their workload _also_ increased, causing the two to look for ways of relieving newfound stress and frustration. JJ started coming by Emily’s apartment at random times, mostly between 12 and 3 am, and Emily let her in everytime, and quicker than the brunette expected, their encounters became sexual, especially after emotionally draining and frustrating cases. And this only made their arrangement feel more and more like a relationship, which Emily couldn’t deny scared her a little bit.

Emily Prentiss had learned from a young age that in life, things would be difficult and challenges could be found around every corner, and she quickly became emotionally guarded, with walls that not only blocked other people from seeing in, but also that kept back the confusing emotions that tried to claw their way to her attention. She had been groomed to suppress and ignore ill feelings and anxieties to prevent vulnerability at all costs. That was the way she just was at this point, she felt tainted by her guardedness, though she would never admit it out loud, or even to _herself._ Keeping everyone at arm's length for her own safety and preservation was her specialty, but Emily knew well that she wouldn't be able to do that with JJ… JJ was just _different_ . With JJ, she didn’t _feel_ vulnerable, she felt _safe_ with her. She felt _confident_ that JJ cared about her, _confident_ that JJ would never _hurt_ her. 

JJ was just _different_. 

Meanwhile, JJ was reluctant to commit to anyone, especially Emily. She was afraid of how close she was getting with her, they were supposed to be just coworkers... _friends_ even. Not whatever... _this_ was. She was drawn to Emily, JJ couldn’t deny, but at the same time, this only convinced her that she needed to push back a little. The last relationship the blonde had experienced was in high school, and it didn’t exactly have the happiest ending, so JJ figured “why rush into things with Emily?” 

JJ was afraid to be hurt, she was afraid to let Emily become anything more to her than...whatever the heck she was right now. A strange, but overall pleasing level between friend and girlfriend. A _friend-with-benefits_ , perhaps, but in the end, JJ _hated_ labels anyway.

Emily was sweet, and awkward, and JJ knew the brunette really cared about her, but then again, what did JJ really know about her? She was fluent in over six languages, was extremely private, always wanted a cat, never spoke with, or about, her family, and that she wasn’t that big of a fan of religion. JJ couldn’t exactly _pride_ herself in this knowledge, though, because most of it she had heard from Garcia and Morgan...and even Reid. Her friends.

Her _profiler_ friends. JJ worked with some of the world’s greatest minds every day, hell, she seemed to see _them_ more than her actual _family_ . They knew her better than anyone, and they knew _Emily_ too. These people’s _career_ was studying behavior, sniffing out lies, and discovering secrets. So how long did she have before they started noticing her and Emily’s _arrangement_? 

Or worse, the fact that Emily was _in love_ with her? JJ was beginning to freak out. 

So, without allowing herself anytime to think it over, JJ pulled out her phone and dialed a number she hadn’t called in a few weeks. She paced anxiously in her office at the BAU before she thought to shut the blinds of her office window. Just as the plastic folds slapped close, she heard a man speak into the phone, his heavy accent decorating his words.

“Hey,” JJ said with a small smile, despite the fact that he couldn’t see her. “Yeah I know, but I just really wanted to hear your voice again.” She waited a few beats, smiling wider as she heard his reply. “Yeah, I think that can be arranged,” she replied. “Next weekend sounds great.”

JJ was afraid to be hurt....and for now, she just wanted to play it all _safe_. 


	8. Chapter 8

Emily sat cross legged on the edge of JJ’s bed as she watched the blonde pack clothing and toiletries into a suitcase. “So how long are you going to be there?” she asked innocently, watching intently as JJ appeared visibly torn with choosing what outfits to bring with her on her upcoming weekend trip. “Just until Monday morning,” JJ replied distractedly, finally settling on one, and shoving it into the bag. Emily nodded.

This trip had been the fourth that _month_ , and Emily would be lying if she denied being slightly concerned. Four trips... _all_ to visit JJ’s parents and childhood friends up in Pennsylvania, all to spend a whole weekend before the blonde begrudgingly left to return to Quantico for work. It did seem weird to Emily that almost every other week JJ was practically sprinting out of the BAU and bounding out of state without batting an eye, and she couldn’t help but worry that JJ wasn’t just visiting her parents...she feared that there were family problems that the blonde had to face. Problems she believed she had to face alone. Why else would JJ keep it from her? Emily was sure that was it. 

“Is everything alright?” Emily asked after a few moments of silence, and she couldn’t help but notice JJ stiffen at the question. The blonde turned to face her, her expression a mixture of confusion...and something else Emily couldn’t identify. “Yeah, why?” JJ asked with a chuckle. Emily shrugged. “Well, maybe because you’ve been running back and forth between family and work, and maybe because you’re taking so long to pack clothing. It’s like you’re trying to choose the best outfits, you know. Do people dress up to visit family?” she replied timidly. 

Something in JJ’s eyes changed, and her cerulean blues shifted to a much stormier shade. “What?” she demanded. “You think I’m _lying_ or something. Emily?” The brunette’s brows shot up in surprise, she hadn’t expected such a response. “No, JJ,” she promised. “I believe you, but I’m just worried, is all. You’re visiting home a lot and you seem stressed right now, so I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.” JJ didn’t respond. Instead, she stared at her suitcase and refused to meet Emily’s eyes. The brunette’s resolve began to crack. She cleared her throat. “And if there _is_ anything wrong, I wanted you to know that you can always talk to me. You don’t have to face this alone. If there’s family issues...Jayje, you _know_ I’m practically a specialist when it comes to--”

“Em, just shut up,” JJ interrupted. Emily looked at her in surprise, worried she’d said something wrong or offensive, but the way JJ looked at her made her relax. In three strides, JJ was practically on top of her, leaning over to pull her into a fast and unexpected kiss that made Emily cough and JJ laugh. It was definitely much faster than any other kiss they had ever shared, but Emily couldn’t help but like the way that JJ grabbed at the back of her head, almost _possessively._

JJ pulled away and smiled at Emily, making the brunette’s worries start to move to the back of her mind. “Everything’s going to be ok, Em,” she promised. Emily nodded. “Yeah, ok,’ she replied dazedly. JJ moved back to her suitcase and zipped it up before checking her watch. “I have to get going, Em, I have a flight in an hour,” she said quickly, realizing how much time she had wasted packing. She really _had_ spent too much time choosing outfits, choosing tops she knew _he_ would like. 

“Want me to take you?” Emily asked, already standing up to grab her keys. JJ thought for a moment. This seemed a little cruel...but she had no time to think it over and let her conscience have a say. “Sure,” JJ replied quickly. Emily smiled. “Alright, I’ll put on the lights and sirens,” she joked. JJ smiled as she watched Emily pick up the suitcase, and she slipped her hand into the brunette’s free one as they headed out. 

Twenty minutes later, Emily parked her car by the side of the airport’s departure and arrivals area. She moved to unbuckle her seatbelt, but she stopped when she felt a hand touch her arm. She looked at JJ quizzically. “I got it,” she promised with a smirk. Emily nodded, trying for a smile. “Ok,” she said. “I’ll miss you. Be safe, ok?” JJ chuckled, shaking her head. “You are the cutest dork, you know that?” She pecked a kiss on Emily’s cheek before she unbuckled her seatbelt. Emily watched her get out of the car and grab the suitcase from the back seat. She rolled down the window. 

“I love you, JJ,” she called before chastising herself. Neither of them had used the word _love_ , and Emily had wanted to let JJ say it first. But now she had messed it all up by letting it slip. JJ turned to look at her in surprise. 

“I know,” the blonde replied. And then she was gone, disappearing into the crowd of travellers and airport workers. 

\-- --

When JJ was finally back from Pennsylvania, Emily picked her up from the airport. The brunette arrived twenty minutes early in sheer excitement. She had been so bored that weekend, and hanging out with Morgan to try to forget about how much she missed JJ was a mistake. They had gone to far too many bars on Saturday night, gotten way too drunk, and Emily had woken up hanging upside down off of her dinner table chair. Sunday, the two spent four hours recovering at the pool in Emily’s apartment complex, and most of the time, Morgan was flirting and chatting with the swarms of women that had come to get his number. Sunday night became a repeat of Saturday night, but this time, Emily had woken up in her apartment...in her bed and Morgan had slept in the bathtub. Just some casual chaos with friends that left them both with raging headaches. So, JJ coming back home was definitely the highlight of Emily’s weekend. 

Emily smiled softly to herself as she got lost in the memories of the past two days. Grabbing pizza for dinner, laughing in the bars...then, she frowned when the topic from Emily’s conversation with Morgan on Sunday morning came to memory. 

“ _She’s visiting family,_ again _? Prentiss, come on. Aren’t you a little bit concerned?” Morgan had asked her, his brow arched in suspicion. Emily sighed. “I am, she’s been acting stressed around when she leaves. I’m worried she’s going through family problems. I just wish she would admit it to me, you know? I don’t like her acting like she needs to hide it,” she replied, playing with the bottom seam of her Yale t-shirt as she watched Morgan gnaw on a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast. “I get family problems, Morgan. They’re messy and sometimes it feels like you’re dealing with a war. I don’t want her going through that alone.”_

_Morgan stared at her for a few seconds, his expression suddenly unreadable. Emily assumed he was just taking in what she had said. But no, he was suspicious. Something didn’t add up, and he hated that Emily wasn’t thinking about it, exploring other possibilities. She seemed dead-set on believing that “family problems” was the issue at hand. He just didn’t get why. “Are you going to say something?” Emily demanded, now nervous from Morgan’s blank stare. He shrugged. “I don’t know what to say, Em. Just...I have to ask. Don’t hate me.”_

_“That’s not a very promising way to begin a question.”_

_“Ugh, just shut up so I can ask, geez!”_

_“Ask away, no one’s stopping you…”_

_“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”_

_Emily raised a brow. “Well, yeah, Morgan. I thought you knew that,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Morgan raised his hands up in surrender. “Hey, hey, I’m not judging you, Prentiss. So you love her. Does she love you?” he asked, feeling his jaw clench as Emily stopped to think for a moment. He became extremely confused...and he suddenly felt anger building up in his stomach. “What, has she never said it?” he demanded. Emily shrugged. “I mean, I said it once, but I think it weirded her out. She’s still awkward about this whole deal. Besides, we’re not exclusive,” she admitted sheepishly._

_“What did she say back?” Morgan pushed. Emily sighed. “She said she knows. Is that bad?” The man rubbed his temple. Damn hangover. “It’s not the_ best _response, Prentiss,” he sighed. Emily scowled. “Well, it was fine, Morgan, I’m not upset over it. She just isn’t ready and I overstepped.” Morgan growled in frustration. “Prentiss, what is the matter with you? Huh?” he exclaimed, frustrated to bits. Emily scoffed. “What do you mean?” she shot back._

_“Why is it always_ your _fault?” Morgan demanded. “It was_ your _fault that she wanted the relationship to be secret. It was_ your _fault that you were jealous, and now it’s_ your _fault again! When do you get a say? When do you get to not stress about what does and what might upset JJ? When can_ you _be happy?”_

_Emily stared at him, at a complete loss for words. JJ’s words from that night in New Orleans came back to her at that moment._ “Trust me”. _Emily sighed. “I am happy, Morgan,” she said after a few moments. “We’re just moving super slow. I’m in love, Morgan. The last thing I want is to mess it up. If she’s not ready, she’s not ready. I’ll have to wait...and believe me I will. I will wait.” Morgan stared at her before nodding slowly, clenching his jaw again. He was still annoyed by what JJ was doing...and how stubborn Emily was. She just_ didn’t _see it, did she?_

Emily was snapped back from her thoughts when she heard the backseat door of her car open and she turned to see JJ tossing her suitcase into the seat. She shut the door and opened the passenger door to climb inside beside Emily. “Jesus, Em,” JJ chuckled. “You were so out of it, an unsub could have climbed into your car, you know.” She shut the door and buckled in, but frowned when she saw that Emily was now staring out of the windshield, that dazed look still in her dark eyes. “You ok?” JJ asked. Emily looked at her with a confused expression. 

“Yeah I’m fine?” she replied and JJ couldn’t help but chuckle. “Are you asking me or telling me?” she asked between laughs. Emily smirked, her face reddening. “I’m good,” the brunette laughed. “Just a long weekend. Morgan and I were both bored and lonely so we got drunk...a lot and I have the remnants of a killer migraine,” she replied, guilt building up in her chest from the lie. She instantly regretted it, but she was embarrassed to admit what she was really thinking about. JJ rolled her eyes. “Wow, Emily,” she chuckled. The brunette snapped her head over quickly to meet her eyes, her brows furrowed in confusion. “I go away for two days and come back to hear that you’ve been going out and partying without me? With _Morgan?_ And I thought he was my _friend!_ I really _shouldn’t_ be leaving you unattended, should I? Trust is earned, you know! _”_ she joked.

Emily couldn't help but grin as she pulled out from the side, and drove down the narrow road, heading out of the airport arrivals area.

After a few moments of silence, Emily felt a hand fall onto her leg. She quickly glanced over at JJ, who only smirked back. “How about we head to your place,” she suggested smoothly. “What do you think?” 

_Trust me_. 

“Ok,” Emily said, her face heating up, and her fingers suddenly drumming on the steering wheel in excitement. JJ leaned over and kissed the brunette on the cheek. “Drive faster,” she ordered, and Emily smirked. “Lights and sirens?” She joked.

“Lights and sirens.”


	9. Chapter 9

About two hours after Emily and JJ had gotten back to Emily’s apartment and ended up in bed, Emily stirred from her nap. She was still exhausted from her party-filled weekend with Morgan and staying up all night the night before in anticipation of JJ coming home. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and smirked when she looked over and saw JJ laying next to her. When a loud yawn managed to escape her mouth, JJ began to stir, too, and Emily cursed herself for waking her up. “Good morning,” JJ said groggily. Emily raised a brow and glanced at the clock in her bedroom wall.

“Jayje, it's a little after one.” 

“Whatever!”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, a girl can only survive on airplane peanuts for so long. Get me some real food and no one gets hurt.” 

Emily chuckled as she sat up in bed and leaned over the side to pick up her clothes. “Ok, ok, bossy,” she replied as she stood up and headed for the bathroom. “Get pizza?” JJ called. “Yup,” Emily replied. When she came back out, she grabbed her phone from her nightstand. She sighed when she saw the battery was dead. House phone it was. “I’m going to go call from the kitchen, ok? My cell is dead. What kind do you want?” she asked. 

“Pepperoni...is that good with you?”

“Sounds good to me, be right back.”

Emily walked out of the bedroom, and bounded down the stairs. She grabbed the phone from the coffee table. Meanwhile, upstairs, JJ herself was receiving a call. 

JJ cursed as she rummaged through her purse, trying to find the ringing phone that was buried by lipsticks, sunglasses, tissues, and coupons. She really needed to organize that bag soon. Finally, her fingers wrapped around the small device and she cursed when she saw who it was. She sat back on the bed and answered. 

“Hey, this really isn’t a good time,” JJ hissed into the phone, tapping her foot anxiously on the floor. “Well hello to you too, Jen,” Will LaMontagne replied. “Can’t a man call his girlfriend to make sure she got home safe?” JJ rolled her eyes. She had explained a thousand times to the man that she was _not_ his girlfriend, she doesn’t _do_ dating. He already _knew_ that.

“Will, I _told_ you,” JJ whispered, looking back at the door to make sure Emily wasn’t there. She moved the phone away from her ear and listened. She sighed in relief when she heard Emily still talking on the phone, she was still far away. “ _I_ am not your girlfriend. _We_ are not exclusive.” She spoke slowly and carefully as if she were talking to a small child, but she rolled her eyes when she heard him laugh. “Why are you whispering?” he asked, clearly ignoring what she had just said. 

“I’m not alone right now,” JJ replied. “I’m at a friend’s house.” She heard him whistle before laughing again. “Are you with that girl who was watching us back when we first met? She jealous of us, Jen? Next time, why don’t you bring her too, huh--” JJ scoffed in disgust. “Will!” she hissed. “I’m joking!” he replied. “Not a very gentlemanly joke, I’ll admit, but...loosen up a bit, _chere._ You weren’t nearly as uptight when you were here with me. Why don’t you come back again?” JJ couldn’t help but laugh, despite the fact that she was in Emily’s apartment, sitting in Emily’s bed while she was talking to Will, with Emily downstairs getting food for the both of them. She laughed, completely dismissing the way she was disrespecting and humiliating Emily. 

“I will see you in two weeks, _you,_ ” JJ chuckled back. “But right now, I _really_ can’t talk.” she was about to say goodbye, but he stopped her. “Wait,” Will said, his tone suddenly softer and...pleading. “You’re not seeing another guy, are you?” JJ stopped and took a breath. “No,” she chuckled, trying to sound casual, trying to play it off as nothing. “No, I am not seeing another guy.” He didn’t respond right away.

“Jen, I don’t get you,” he said suddenly. “ _Chere,_ you come all this way back to Louisiana just to see me and spend a weekend with me, but then you turn around and say it doesn’t mean anything. That we aren’t _exclusive._ That _you’re not my_ _girlfriend._ Honey if that's the case, why bother seeing me?” JJ’s jaw clenched, and her heart pounded in panic. She had never dreamed Will would be one to want an actual relationship. Not only were they thousands of miles away physically, but they were practically thousands of miles away romantically. Will seemed like the guy to meet a girl, marry her, have kids with her. JJ was not that girl, she didn’t _want_ to be that girl. No, she would never be that girl.

“Will, I told you…” JJ began, but he sighed, cutting her off. “It’s _complicated,_ ” he finished for her sarcastically. “Yeah, you said.”

JJ sighed, rubbing her temple with her hand. She heard Emily moving around downstairs, heard cabinets opening and closing. JJ needed Will to stop talking _now._ “Have you ever told anyone about us even?” Will pushed, really irking JJ further. “No, I told you, we’re nothing _serious_ ,” she replied sharply. He sighed. “Alright, _chere_ , but what do you say to people about coming down here every few weeks?” he asked. “I don’t say _anything_ ,” JJ replied. “Will, please. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can discuss... _this_ then, ok?”

“Alright, alright, Jen. Talk to you then.”

“Definitely. Bye, Will.” 

“I’m still gonna say I love you, though. _Girlfriend.”_

“Good _bye_ Will _._ ”

JJ hung up, taking a deep breath. She stared at the floor, now worried about this awkward conversation that was now waiting for her the next day, haunting her. She was so deep in thought, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Emily say, “JJ?” she looked up to see the brunette with her head poked in the doorway. “Hey, you’re still not dressed? The pizza will be here in ten. I poured us some wine.” 

JJ stared at her strangely for a few seconds, subtly sliding her phone down her body and hiding it under the covers. Emily raised her brows. 

“Right, sorry,” JJ said with a small smile. “Jet lag. I’ll be right down, Em.” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan is NOT having it, guys.

Morgan practically kicked in the door on his way to Garcia’s lair at the BAU almost a week after he and Emily had hung out. For five days he had watched Emily and JJ’s _arrangement_ become more and more troublesome for the brunette, and had spent most of his time thinking about and reflecting on his discussion with Emily. However, the more he did, the angrier he got. It just wasn’t fair...Emily was a good person and a loyal friend. She didn’t deserve being treated the way she was, she deserved more than being someone’s plaything. He _hated_ getting involved in other people’s troubles, but he couldn’t stand watching JJ play games with Emily any longer. He needed to do something, to stand up for her since _she_ wouldn’t....but he couldn’t do it alone. He needed a certain tech-goddess’ divine intervention.

“Baby Girl! We need to talk!” he called, shutting the door to Garcia’s office behind him. The perky blonde tech analyst spun around in her chair, a wide grin falling naturally onto her colorful face. “But about _what_ , sweet Adonis? And should I be worried since you closed the door, rendering all escape hopeless?” she replied playfully, tapping a fuzzy pink feather pen against the palm of her hand. Morgan couldn’t help but chuckle at their banter, but he quickly composed himself. He was far too upset to play it all off as nothing. “About Emily and JJ,” he revealed.

He watched as the blonde’s smile wavered, and her head tilted with an even wider grin as she worked quickly to cover up her nervousness. “What about them, sugar?” she asked innocently, but Morgan just crossed his arms. “Hey now, I _know_ that _you_ know what I’m talking about,” he said with only a slight hint of his usual easy-going banter. He literally watched a Garcia huffed, and down came her resolve. “Oh, but to be the all-knowing is both a blessing and a curse,” Garcia sighed, adjusting her neon pink glasses. “Was I the last one to be told... _again?”_ Morgan shook his head.

“As much as I feel bad that you don’t get a backstage pass to all the drama, this is important, Penelope. Something isn’t right and if we don’t do something, it’ll all get worse,” Morgan said calmly as he took the blonde’s hand in his. “You know that.” Garcia looked at him with a frown. “Remind me what it is that I know?” she said timidly, clearly holding something back. She was trying _so_ hard to be loyal, and the man saw that it was _killing_ her. Morgan’s jaw clenched, and the tech analyst saw right away that he was more than curious about this...he was truly upset.

“You _know_ that it’s not her _parents_ that JJ is running off to every other weekend,” Morgan began slowly, and he watched as Garcia’s chin quivered. “You _also_ know that a certain _someone_ has no idea what is really going on and that this same _someone_ is going to get hurt in the end. Hurt _bad._ ” Garcia cracked, squeezing the man’s hand with both hands. “Oh, god!” she cried. “I _also, also_ know that it’s not her parents or her _friend_ that JJ is currently on the phone with. And it’s not _Emily_ that JJ forgot she had invited to visit her at her _apartment_ this weekend!” she rambled quickly. Morgan’s eyes widened. 

“ _What?_ Baby Girl, we have to do something, we have to get JJ to tell Emily the truth!” he exclaimed, completely disgusted by the situation. Garcia stared back at him, teary eyed. Morgan looked at her, suddenly feeling awful for the sweet woman in front of him. She had thrown _right_ into the middle of this mess by someone they all thought was a friend. He silently made a note to cool it with the yelling...this was _far_ from Garcia’s fault. 

“But-but J swore me to secrecy, Chocolate Thunder! I _promised_ \--” Garcia began, but Morgan stopped her by placing two gentle hands on each of her tense shoulders. “And what about Emily?” Morgan asked, his tone softer, but still firm. “You’ll be loyal to JJ, but not Emily? You are _far_ too smart and snoopy to _not_ notice that something fishy is going on around here. I know you want to help a friend, but this isn't fair, don’t you see? Emily is in _love_ , and she thinks JJ is on the same page. She has _no_ idea.” Garcia frowned, clearly conflicted. “ _In love?_ ” she asked sheepishly. “She really doesn’t know?”

“Girl doesn’t have a clue.”

“Oh god...no, no, no. Not her...poor Emily!”

“I know, we need to help her, Penelope.”

Garcia looked as if she were going to pass out. Her face was nearly void of any color other than her makeup, and her eyes were bugged and filled with tears. “But JJ! God, what is she _thinking_ ?! Why would...God, this is _messed up!_ ” She exclaimed exasperatedly. In two strides, Morgan was wrapping strong arms around the distressed woman and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I know, Sweet Girl. I know,” he said.

  
  


“ _God_ , Derek,” she finally whimpered. “What do we _do_?” 

Morgan pulled away so that their eyes could meet. 

“We get JJ to do the right thing.”

\-- --

Meanwhile, JJ was sitting at her desk, her head resting in her hand as she listened to Will on the phone. “Babe, I’m only _coming_ because you _invited me_ !” he explained, clearly annoyed that JJ had forgotten her own plans and was thus trying to cancel it all last minute. “The flight is tomorrow, and I don’t have time to return the tickets, the precinct is backed up with cases, and I’m up to my knees in paperwork.” JJ rolled her eyes, rubbing her temple. She couldn’t _believe_ this was happening. How could she have been so _stupid_. 

“Just _make_ time then!” she hissed, trying to keep her voice down. Her office door was wide open and she had been too busy working to close it. It was almost lunchtime and the last thing the blonde wanted was Emily coming to get her while she was talking to _him_ . “What?!” Will exclaimed. “Jen, what’s the deal? You invite me, I spend money on these goddamn tickets, and you just _forget_ that I’m taking my own personal time to see you nearly twelve hours away?” 

“If you’re so pissed, then hang up and return the tickets!” 

“I _told_ you, I _can’t_!”

“Then come to Virginia and do some sightseeing. Go to the Washington Estate.”

“You’ve got to be joking! I am _not_ going all that way to look at some stupid museum.”

JJ jumped when she heard a knock at the door. She glanced up to see Reid standing in the doorway with a confused expression. However, he quickly backed out of the office after he noticed she was on the phone and practically sped walked away, spooked by her glare. JJ sighed. “Fine, ok? You’re right. Just _come_ and I’ll figure everything else out,” she hissed into the phone. Will sighed. “Is there something you need to tell me? You forget I’m comin’ and you invite the _other_ guy over that same weekend?” he asked, surprisingly patient. JJ decided to take it and run with it.

“Yes,” she admitted. It was only _half_ a lie. What she didn’t take into account was the _other_ lies that she had already been feeding what felt like _everybody_ were slowly but surely only making the mess worse and worse. The hole that JJ had put herself was only getting harder and harder to get out of. _._ “I _told_ you, we’re not exclusive. Now you have proof. I mixed up the times, Will. I’m sorry.” 

“Well then, cancel _him._ He ain’t paying all this damn money to see you!”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine, _chere_ . I know this is what you _really_ want.”

With that, the call ended, and JJ found herself wanting to chuck the entire phone, and herself, out of her office window. How had she let this happen? How did she let it all get out of hand? And no, this was _far_ from what she really wanted. What she _really_ wanted...was Emily. But for now, JJ had to keep her far away.

  
  


\-- -- 

After leaving JJ’s office, Reid knew for certain that something was up. He had thought something suspicious had been going on among the members of the team, but by the way that the last few days had been, he just knew he was right. And he _also_ knew that _Morgan_ knew what was going on.

When the boy genius arrived at Garcia’s lair, he found the door was closed, which only confirmed that the two parties inside were involved. He pushed it open and raised a brow as he watched both Garcia and Morgan jump, creating nearly six feet of space between them. They had been hugging, Reid saw, and he quickly spotted the redness around Garcia’s eyes and the tension in Morgan’s shoulders. 

“Reid?!” Morgan exclaimed. “Damn, kid, can’t you _knock_?” Reid shrugged, folding his arms over his chest as he watched the two in front of him. “Well, I saw the door was closed, which hardly ever happens, so I knew right away that something weird was going on in here, and your reactions only confirmed it. Something weird is going on around here, and you guys seem to be in the middle of it all,” he accused, causing Garcia’s jaw to drop. Morgan sighed, closing his eyes. “Reid,” he said firmly. “Nothing is going on that necessarily involves _us_ \--”

“No, it involves JJ and Prentiss,” Reid agreed, scratching his chin. “JJ has a secret she’s not telling Emily, something to do with Will, right? Emily is too focused on pleasing her that she doesn’t notice. Now what I find interesting is how _you_ two got involved...so what did you find out?” 

Morgan and Garcia stared at him in shock. “God, I _hate_ profilers!” the blonde muttered exasperatedly as Morgan sighed. “JJ and Emily are dating--” he began. “No, JJ said they’re not exclusive!” Garcia corrected, making the older man roll his eyes. “The hell they’re not! They’ve slept together, and they’ve been sneaking around for months.” Garcia sighed, retreating into herself as Reid narrowed his eyes in thought. “And JJ’s on the phone with _him_ , right?” he asked. Garcia nodded sadly. “For nearly half an hour,” she confirmed. 

Reid checked his watch. “I went to talk to her about five minutes ago, but she was on the phone and she was upset. A fight, maybe?” he offered. “No, she forgot that she invited him over this weekend,” Garcia revealed in a small voice. Reid knit his brows. “And Emily...what is JJ thinking? Why is she doing this? Emily loves her,” he said. Morgan put a hand on his shoulder. 

“That’s what we _all_ want to know,” Morgan admitted. Reid thought for a moment, staring at the floor with narrowed eyes. “Well, I’d say that confronting JJ is probably the worst possible thing we can do at this point,” he said. “If JJ feels attacked, the hostility that this could bring to the BAU will be the equivalent of a small scale ecological disaster. Which interestingly--”

“Reid!” Garcia gasped, clutching onto Morgan’s arm nervously. “You’re doing that thing again. The one where you’re so right it’s terrifying and anxiety-worsening.” Reid blushed. “Sorry,” he said. “So yeah, please don’t confront JJ, Morgan. I know you want to defend Prentiss, we all want her to be happy, trust me, but there is _nothing_ we can do until JJ takes responsibility and fixes this herself.”

Morgan glared at him, pissed beyond _words_ , but the boy genius was right. They really were powerless.

“Nothing we can do,” he repeated lamely. “Until _after_ Prentiss gets her heart broken.” 

Garcia sighed sadly and Reid scratched his chin again. "Hey," he said, causing Garcia and Morgan to look up. "In the scenario of 'small-scale ecological disaster', who do you think is the stray cat that wreaks havoc on the bird, insect, and small dog population? I feel like JJ would logically be the cat...oh, but the cat population might also be affected, depending on if said stray cat is aggressive toward its own kind. Yes, that actually coincides with JJ practically destroying her own reputation. But also Prentiss might--"

"REID!" 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda follows CM 3x02...with a few slight differences. This is the last chapter that follows canon for a while. Also, sorry if there are typos...Enjoy :)

“I’m going to  _ kill  _ her…” JJ growled as Garcia tried to calm the angry liaison down with a gentle hand hold, and Morgan watched with a brow raised as the blonde paced back and forth in the bullpen. 

Things had never been more stressful in the BAU. No one had heard from Gideon in days, and even  _ Hotch  _ didn’t have the first clue about what was going through the man’s head or if he was ever coming back. And Hotch himself had mysteriously appeared on the list for internal transfers, and Morgan nearly fell over when he had heard the news. And Emily? She had missed two days of work, and that had concerned everyone enough, but when Garcia found out she was transferring, the remaining team members couldn’t help but feel as if the BAU was falling apart.

“I can’t  _ believe  _ she didn’t tell me... _ us _ !” JJ complained, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Why would she just  _ leave  _ and not say a  _ damn  _ thing? And now  _ Strauss _ has to fill in because half of our team just quit and never even said anything. What happened to decency...much less  _ honesty? _ ” Morgan scoffed to himself.  _ How ironic, _ he thought.  _ JJ is preaching honesty. _

“She has to have a reason, Jayje,” Garcia said gently, nervous about how restless JJ had been for the past few days. “But  _ what? _ ” JJ demanded. “What is so bad that she couldn’t tell us? Why keep it a secret. What if something's wrong?” 

The tech analyst looked helplessly at Morgan, who didn’t look amused in the slightest. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, as if he were saying  _ what do you want me to do?!  _ He looked at JJ, trying to hide his annoyance with her. “Have you called her?” he asked. JJ rolled her eyes.  _ “Yes _ ,” she said exasperatedly. “I texted her too. No answers, just voicemail and silence. I just...she’s killing me here.” Morgan frowned. She genuinely seemed concerned. 

“And until we hear anything from  _ anyone _ , we have to deal with the god-forsaken she-devil that calls herself the section chief. Someone just  _ kill  _ me!” JJ moaned, and Morgan snorted. He couldn’t agree with that sentiment more. Strauss was a constant headache for the BAU, and the last thing anybody on the team wanted was for the old hag to use their shortage of members as an excuse to “rebuild” the BAU in her image. 

Despite their resistance, Strauss inserted herself into the investigation, and insisted on “helping”, and Morgan couldn’t help but notice JJ getting more and more agitated the longer that she awaited a response from Emily. He also noticed how dismissive Strauss was of Hotch and Emily, as if they were some sort of traitors that abandoned the team. Several women were being killed and dumped like garbage and the section chief still managed to make it some political spectacle and she  _ still  _ managed to be the stuck-up vulture that haunted and harassed the BAU. It’s almost as if Strauss was trying to run things into the ground.

And through it all, JJ kept calling and texting and worrying.  _ What was going on with Emily? _

\-- -- 

“This guy’s dumping bodies between 7:30 and 8:00,” Morgan said as he spread the files and images on the table, and JJ looked up from her notes. “That gives us a little over 12 hours to make something hit. Let’s get it done.” JJ was returning her gaze to the files and notes in front of her when Reid spoke up. 

“Look who’s here!” he said, peppier than JJ expected. Morgan turned and she looked past him to see Emily step into the room with her black go bag in hand, Hotch right behind her. . JJ’s jaw dropped, and she didn’t know what she wanted to do...yell at, hug, or just  _ kiss _ that damn woman for making her worry for days and then just  _ waltz _ in with a simple but awkward “Hey, where do we start?” 

Despite herself, JJ smiled as Hotch and Morgan shook hands. “How fast can you get us up to speed?” Emily suddenly asked, her eyes focused on JJ. The blonde met her gaze, her smile wavering ever so slightly. “How fast can you sit down?” JJ replied with a chuckle as she handed the brunette one of the files. Emily took it with a grin and settled down in a seat. But still, there was a thundercloud overhead.

Seconds later, Strauss marched into the room, and she stopped dead in her tracks to glare at Hotch, and then Emily. JJ’s stomach clenched as the brunette only stared back. Her face void of any emotion, but in her dark eyes, JJ saw a sort of fiery defiance, and she finally realized that Emily hadn’t  _ just  _ flaked and then tried to make up for it. No, it was bigger than that.

A battle of wills, a battle JJ was thrilled to see Emily and Hotch were winning. “We’re only here to help,” Emily said calmly, and JJ was shocked. The look in Emily’s eyes was clearly hostile, but the way that she maintained her composure impressed JJ...and everyone else in the room. Strauss opened her mouth, but closed it in defeat as her eyes fell back to Hotch. The man stared back coldly, his own disposition just as graceful and defiant as Emily’s. “We’ll deal with this later,” Strauss promised, her face clearly annoyed at the fact that she wasn’t the glorious victor she thought she was anymore. 

Emily raised a brow when she finally caught JJ’s gaze again, and she quickly went back to work...and JJ couldn’t have been more happy about it if she tried. 

\-- -- 

_ What the heck _ , Emily thought to herself as she sat on the back of the ambulance with a paramedic who was cleaning up the gaping head wound she had gotten from the unsub back in the basement of the house.  _ You leave this bullshit only to come running back, believing that this is your calling and what? The next thing you know, you’re slammed in the head with a block of wood. Nice call. _ She chuckled, surprising both the paramedic and JJ, who sat right beside her, holding her hand. 

“Emily?” JJ asked, and that only made Emily chuckle a little harder. The paramedic back away, his brows raised, and the two women both giggled at his awkward expression once he walked away. “What the heck could you  _ possibly  _ be laughing at?” JJ asked. Emily moved her head to meet the blonde’s gaze, not caring that just  _ moving  _ her head made her dizzy and slightly nauseous. “I’m just laughing at how  _ different  _ this day was from how I had planned it when I woke up this morning,” she admitted. JJ rolled her eyes playfully. “Maybe you  _ did _ get hit a little harder than we thought,” she teased. 

They shared another laugh before Emily’s eyes fell to JJ’s lips. Despite how hard she wanted to kiss the woman beside her, there were too many people around...and not to mention their team and  _ Strauss  _ were lurking around. JJ knew what that look meant right away, and opted to squeeze the brunette’s hand tenderly. But her hand quickly recoiled when they noticed Hotch approaching them. 

“How’s your head?” he asked, glancing at the paramedic, who quickly returned to cleaning her head. Emily grimaced as the stinging returned. “I’ll live,” she said, and JJ rolled her eyes. They both knew how much she was downplaying it. Then, Emily met Hotch’s eyes seriously. “Is it weird that I’m glad to be back?” she deadpanned, and JJ had to bite the knuckle of her finger to keep from laughing. “I’ll make sure it stays official,” Hotch replied before turning around and rushing back to meet Strauss. Emily nodded after him, and JJ took the opportunity to interlock their hands again. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m  _ really  _ glad you’re back, too,” JJ said suddenly. Emily quickly turned her head to meet the blonde’s gaze. They held each other’s gaze for a few moments before Emily spoke up. “I missed you,” she said. “And there’s so much I have to tell you.” JJ smiled as she gave Emily’s hand another squeeze, but this time, her thumb lingered over the back of Emily’s hand. 

“I’m sure you do. I’ll drive you home.”

\-- -- 

Emily led JJ down the halls of the apartment and JJ took the liberty of taking Emily’s keys and unlocked the door. Emily smiled at her as she entered first. “Helpful today, are we?” she teased. JJ shrugged as she closed and locked the door. “Well, you decided to get a little more confrontational with a serial killer today, so yes...I’m going to make sure you’re not left unsupervised,” she retorted, and Emily grinned, throwing her go bag on the floor by the stairs. 

She heard JJ throw the keys down on the kitchen counter, but Emily walked straight for the floor-to-ceiling window, and stared at the view of Washington Monument and the bright lights down in D.C. She crossed her arms as she watched the skyline, her smile falling as she thought how the heck she was supposed to explain the past few days to her team, to  _ JJ _ . Hotch had made it sound so simple. Strauss was trying to use her, but Emily didn’t let her. 

But was it really so simple? What else did it all mean...that she wasn’t meant to ever be on the team, that she never earned the spot based on her merit. Again, like dozens of other times in her life, she was another pawn in the game of politics. The only thing she was or ever had been good for was a political move for  _ someone else. _

JJ followed her, placing a hand on Emily’s upper arm. The brunette jumped at the touch, but offered a small smile. “Are you going to tell me, or keep me guessing?” JJ asked as she stared into Emily’s tired dark eyes. The brunette sighed as she raised on hand to scratch at the white bandage stuck over the wound on her forehead. She bit her lip before she answered. 

“You’re mad at me aren’t you?” Emily demanded, turning to face JJ, her eyes sad. She watched as JJ’s blue eyes searched her, looking for an answer to her own question. “I was,” she answered honestly. “I was  _ pissed _ , but I realized that you’d never keep something from me...unless it was big.” They stood in a long silence before Emily scoffed.

“I left the team, I resigned. All because I found out something that I couldn’t accept,” she said critically, frowning as she turned to stare out of the window again. “I ran away like I always do...and I hurt people like I always do.” JJ furrowed her brows and squeezed Emily’s arm. 

“Emily?” She muttered quietly. Then, she spoke up. “What happened? What made you run away?” Emily sighed, tending under JJ’s touch again. She even shivered.  _ God _ , was she uncomfortable. “I don’t belong on the BAU,” she spat out quickly and angrily, making JJ freeze in surprise. She hadn’t imagined that  _ response _ . “What do you mean?” The blonde asked.

“I was put on the team but Strauss for her own gain,” Emily continued bitterly. “She gave me my dream job, only to be a spy who would give her dirt on Hotch.” JJ stared at her, her eyes wide in shock and her jaw agape. “Emily!” She exclaimed, recoiling her hand. “What?! How could you?!” She stared at Emily, shocked beyond words at the brunette’s apparent betrayal. Emily only scowled, keeping her gaze fixed in the distant Washington Monument.

“I didn’t tell her a thing,” Emily defended, and JJ could practically see the brunette’s walls shooting back up. The very walls JJ had spent so long breaking down. Walls that protected something that JJ wanted, and she cursed herself for making them go back up. 

“I resigned, I was humiliated and angry. I thought that it was my own hard work and the time I’ve spent trying to become better and better at my job that got me into the team. But no, like _everything_ _else_ in my life, it was handed to me, but only as a political move that benefits _someone else_ ,” Emily added, her eyes finally returning to meet JJ’s, and the blonde almost crumbled at how weak they looked. How sad they were. “Am I really that pathetic, that meaningless and expendable?” Emily asked, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

JJ’s anger fell away completely, and she found herself wrapping her arms around Emily, pulling her into a tight hug in which the brunette rested her chin on JJ’s shoulder, and JJ pressed her face into Emily’s shoulder. “God, no,” JJ said sternly. “Emily Prentiss, you are worth more than gold.” 

JJ sighed in relief as she felt Emily relax into JJ’s embrace, but it did nothing to soothe the bubble of guilt that was filling JJ’s stomach. She moved to press a kiss to Emily’s head. 

“You just haven’t met someone who sees it,” JJ continued, her voice thick with sadness. “Someone who deserves you.” She felt Emily lift her head and back away so that they were facing each other. Emily’s hand flew up to cup JJ’s face, and she pressed her lip’s to JJ’s so slowly and so tenderly, that it made the blonde’s heart both flutter and shatter at the same time. 

Emily  _ loved  _ her. She  _ really  _ loved her. But JJ...JJ couldn’t love her, she couldn’t commit. Not to Emily, not to Will...and not to the  _ baby  _ inside of her. Hell, If JJ couldn’t live a life that was true to herself, why should be trusted in creating another one to ruin? Emily said she always runs, but JJ is always running faster, but always in the opposite direction. She runs till she can’t see, she can’t breathe, she can’t feel. 

But she  _ did  _ feel Emily that night. That day, really. She watched Emily risk her own safety for a little boy, for a captive woman...for the greater good. She watched Emily bleeding and dazed from a head injury, and now she had watched as Emily had broken down a little bit. JJ  _ felt  _ Emily in every way possible. And she  _ felt _ what her heart was telling her. She loved Emily back, with much the same intensity, with the same desperation.

But it was too late. It was much too late. JJ had screwed up, she had ruined everything. But the worst part was that she was about to ruin Emily, to destroy the brunette. And Emily just didn’t see it, did she? She didn’t even see that she was heading for the edge of the world at full speed, not when JJ was in her arms. Not when JJ was in her bed. Not when she woke up beside JJ the next morning. 

  
It’s simply awful how  _ blind  _ people can be. By nature  _ and  _ by choice.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ is acting weird and this calls for some divine intervention...and Reid is all over it. Hope y'all enjoy. Again, sorry if there are typos. It just be like that sometimes :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This case is made up btw. Reid goes a little AWOL, but he’s sick of JJ’s bs rn and he wants Emily to know the truth. A l OOC tho but we needed it. Pls enjoy... Tee hee...

The next two months were long and full of change for the BAU, as well as for Emily and JJ. Not only had the team dynamic changed and adjusted, with Rossi joining and Morgan taking on more responsibilities to help out Hotch, but Emily couldn’t help but notice JJ pulling away from her, from the team. She spent a lot more time in her office, on the phone, her voice hushed and quiet as she whispered to whomever she was speaking to so much. She never wanted to go out to team bar nights or dinners, she would only go to Emily’s apartment, but only after long and thorough convincing from the brunette. Another thing Emily had noticed was a decrease in JJ’s trips to visit family and friends, and a sudden interest in yoga. _Yoga_? Yeah, Emily was completely confused as to what was going on with JJ.

It was stress, Emily rationalized most of the time. Along with Morgan, most of the team members had also taken on a few more responsibilities as well as longer hours, and JJ had always been super busy to begin with. Stress just made the most sense to Emily. 

As a means to soothe JJ’s “stress”, Emily often offered to help JJ with anything she needed: files, meals, transportation, but she was only met with a thick, and quite _angry_ wall of resistance from the blonde. JJ refused almost anything Emily offered, as she only agreed to spending nights with Emily...but mostly for her ah, _physical_ needs. Emily was a little confused by the increased interest in sex, but again, she assumed it was stress. Besides, she was in love with JJ. If this is what JJ needed at her most stressful times, then this is what Emily would give her. Wasn’t that the right thing to do anyways?

For a week or two it worked, but then the BAU was called to West Palm Beach, Florida to investigate a string of seemingly random shootings. Usually, travelling for cases was the least of JJ’s worries, but Emily quickly and almost immediately noticed a reluctance to go so far for a case. 

“JJ?” Emily asked once they were seated in the jet. She sat across the table from the blonde, and she watched worriedly as JJ stared distractedly out the window. “JJ!” Emily repeated, this time louder. The blonde jumped. Then, her eyes finally met Emily’s. They looked so blank, Emily shivered. They had just gone over notes and ideas for the profile, but she had seen JJ was far away through most of it. She was spaced out and anxious...and something was _just_ wrong. 

“Talk to me,” Emily pleaded softly, staying as quiet as possible in case someone else was to overhear. JJ stared at her confusedly. “What?” she asked, her brows furrowed. Emily sighed, running a hand over her bangs nervously. “You’ve been acting weird,” she said calmly, despite JJ’s now narrowed eyes. “You’re super withdrawn, you barely want to hang out with _me_ , Jayje. On top of that, you won’t even go see your family. Have you even called them? I’m sure they’re worried too. Are you stressed? Please, if you are, I’ll help. I promise--” she rambled, but JJ cut her off with a scoff. 

“Would you just _stop_ !” JJ snapped, making Emily’s brows furrow at the blonde’s sudden aggression. “I’m fine, Emily. Yes, I’m stressed as _hell_ , but it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s nothing I want _your_ help with, so stop it already.” Emily stared at JJ, not at all convinced, and not at all ready to obey. JJ was upset and she _had_ to do _something_ . And that something, Emily decided, was to glance behind her to make sure the team wasn’t looking, and take JJ’s hand in hers to bring to her lips for a kiss to the knuckles. But JJ’s response wasn’t exactly _grateful._

JJ yanked her hand away at full force, and before she knew it, Emily received a harsh and unexpected slap to the face. “What the hell were you _thinking_ ?!” JJ hissed, her eyes flashing with an anger that actually scared Emily a bit more than she would have liked to admit. “At our _job_ ?! _Really_ , Emily?! You stupid…” she trailed off, grabbing her sweater from the seat beside her. She jumped up to her feet and stormed off to the kitchenette for a cup of green tea--JJ never drinks green tea-- and then when she was done, she sat down across from Reid, rather than return to where she had been sitting with Emily. 

With the blonde now gone, Emily’s hand flew up to cup her now aching cheek, completely shocked. Never before had JJ ever gotten so angry, and _never before_ had she _hit_ Emily. This was terrifying for the brunette. With JJ pulling away, and now becoming _violent_ , what did this mean for them? What had Emily done wrong?

\-- -- 

That case had felt like the longest and most grueling of all the cases Emily had ever worked, and most of it was because of the rift that had formed between her and JJ ever since the jet. Ever since JJ had slapped Emily.

Emily couldn’t have felt more selfish if she tried. Twelve men and women were shot at random by a pair of teenage boys who felt they were responsible for their childhood abuse and neglect, both at home and at school. Over fifty people who loved and knew these same twelve victims received the worst news of their lives. Justice wasn’t even truly served...the boys had jumped from a twelve story building. Things would never be the same in that city, never. 

An incredibly terrible and traumatic case, and here Emily was still stressed over whatever the _hell_ happened back in the jet. Here she was worried over JJ who insisted over and over to everyone on the team that she was ok. Here she was being upset over _that_ on the way back to Quantico. Selfish, stupid...and pathetic. 

Despite the awful ending to an awful case, JJ still kept her distance from everyone but Reid, retreating with the boy genius to the very back of the jet to nap and chat over a game of cards. Emily watched from her seat with Morgan, wishing she knew what to do to help the blonde, or at least what the heck to _say_ the next time they spoke, because that was going to have to happen at some point. All Emily wanted was to talk to JJ, to apologize for upsetting her. To remind JJ that she was there for her. To tell JJ that if she needed to be alone, the brunette would let her be. The only problem was that JJ had no interest in being around _anyone_ other than Reid. 

The 20 or so hour flight was long and boring and restless without JJ, but Emily had eventually decided as she poured herself a cup of coffee that she would just stay away for now. She would leave JJ alone. She wouldn't call, text, or visit her office. The team would go back to the BAU, Emily would get her things and she would go home and get some rest. Whatever JJ was going to do was up the blonde and Emily wouldn’t interfere. But things did not as planned in the slightest.

When the team had landed back in Virginia, Emily watched as JJ practically sprinted out of the jet, bounding straight into the building. Morgan shot Emily a raised brow, but all she could do was shrug as she picked up her bag and walked out with him. “Is she ok?” Morgan asked as Emily slid her keycard in front of the censor at the door to the FBI building. Emily sighed and glanced at him before she opened and held the door for him. “She’s acting weird, and I honestly have no idea why,” Emily sighed as Morgan led them straight to the elevators. He clicked his tongue. “You really don’t, huh?” he asked, shooting her a look that confused the woman. She couldn’t tell if it was confusion or just sheer _pity_. But pity? What for?

The elevator bell rang and the next thing the two knew, they were stepping into the elevator and watching the metal doors slide closed in front of them before it began moving upward. “I don’t,” Emily admitted in defeat. “But it’s driving me crazy. She’s acting so _weird_ , Morgan.” Morgan placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Emily,” he began gently, and she shivered at the use of her first name. It was rare for anyone other than JJ and the brunette’s _mother_ to call her anything other than Prentiss. “You obviously care about her a lot--no, you _love_ her. But you can’t blame yourself every time she’s upset or stressed. We’ve _talked_ about this, Prentiss.” 

Emily nodded, still staring at the metal doors of the elevator until the bell rang again and they slid open once more. “I know,” she said after a few moments, stepping out of the elevator with her friend. “I only wish there was something I could do, and I wish I _knew_ what to do anyway she sighed. She looked at Morgan, and this time, she saw a much more compassionate expression, one that told her that he was definitely impressed by how much she cared about JJ. And he _was_ impressed...and also slightly disturbed by the woman’s oblivion to JJ’s games, but he kept that to himself anyway.

— — 

Emily had promised herself that she would let JJ be, but in the end, she just couldn’t. She had to know what was wrong, and she stubbornly insisted that _she_ had to be the one to fix it, to help JJ. Just before she packed up her things to head home to her apartment, she glanced over at JJ’s office. The empty office was darkened, the door locked shut, signaling that JJ had snuck out at some point, but Emily wasn’t sure when. With a sigh, she grabbed her bags and headed out of the bullpen. 

Little did she know Morgan, Garcia, and Reid were waiting for her. Morgan has finally cracked earlier that evening, and he had convinced a very reluctant Garcia and an uncomfortable Reid to help speed along the process of Emily finding out. Morgan had realized after talking to the brunette that the longer they kept silent and watched, the longer they were protecting _JJ_ and dooming _Emily_ to losing a lot more than she should have to. 

“My sweet knight in shining armor, as much as I love and adore you, this is so _wrong_ ,” Garcia whispered nervously as Emily came into view. “We can’t keep protecting JJ like this,” Morgan said back to her, his fine soft and understanding, knowing the tech analyst was just guilty about going against JJ’s trust. “But sugar, won’t this just make everything worse? We should just make JJ tell Emily, this...Emily is going to be devastated!” Garcia pleaded, her eyes blearing with a few unshed tears. Morgan gently put an arm around her shoulders, and pecked a kiss to the top of her grilled and curly hair. “We May be fanning the flames, but _JJ_ started this fire, Baby Girl. _We’re_ just making sure Emily isn’t the only one that gets burned.” 

Reid raised a brow at the analogy, but when he glanced back at Emily, his face fell serious. He watched the way she walked, with her shoulders tense and her footsteps rushed. Her head was slightly ducked and her eyes...her entire face was stricken with worry. The brunette was clearly headed to find JJ, and he knew from the sadness he saw in her, Morgan’s way wasn’t the right way.

“It’ll all be ok, just follow my lead,” Morgan told Garcia before pulling his arm away. “If it went t for your many charms, sweet prince, I—” Garcia began but Reid hushed her. “Actually follow _my_ lead,” the boy genius said in an ordering tone that neither Garcia or Morgan expected. Morgan could only shoot him a confused glance, but Emily was too close for him to protest. Reid Wales right up toe Emily, not missing a beat.

“Hey Emily, guess what? The movie theater by my house is having a sci-fi movie marathon from nine o’clock tonight to nine o’clock _tomorrow_ night,” he said with his usual boyish excitement that he got from sci-fi. Both he and Emily had an appreciation, and he saw her interest slightly piqued almost immediately. “Oh really?” She asked, her brows raised. Reid nodded with a smirk. “Yes, _twelve_ hours of iconic sci-fi meditation and even a few screenwriters from the big movies like _Solaris_ are showing up to talk...you want to come with me? I invited JJ, and yes I know she hates sci-fi, but she said she has a date tonight and so I thought—”

Emily froze. “A what?” She asked in utter shock. Reid’s entire demeanor changed from excited to almost scheming. He raised a brow and smirked. “A _date_ ,” he repeated, looking pleased with himself. “She told me she was going out tonight and she seemed _pretty_ excited. Her cheeks were slightly flushed at the mention of it, and her pupils—” 

Emily stared at him, her eyes wide in shock, and her jaw clenched. “A-a date?” she stammered, at a complete loss for words. “With _who_ ?” Reid raised his brows as he glanced at Morgan and Garcia, both of them shocked by, yet approving of his approach, before looking back at Emily. “You really didn’t know? I mean, _I’m_ usually the last one to know about these things but…” he trailed off before glancing around as if he were worried about someone overhearing. “She has been seeing a guy for quite some time, he’s her boyfriend I think.” 

Emily stared at him as if she had been slapped, her face pale. “Boyfriend?!” she repeated so low Reid, Morgan, and Garcia had to strain to hear it. Reid nodded, his long hair bobbing and bouncing with each nod. “Yes, the detective from New Orleans,William LaMontagne Jr. Apparently they really hit it off, because JJ has been seeing him for months now. She travels a lot, right? She’s been going to visit him a lot, she said,” he replied, trying really hard not to let the guilt and sadness he felt for his now distraught friend show on his face. Morgan was right...this needed to happen now. 

“She...she told you that?” Emily asked, her eyes narrowed and her voice slightly shaky. “Yes, why? Didn’t she tell you?” Reid questioned slowly, feigning genuine shock and confusion. “

I didn't mean...you guys are super close, I thought—” he trailed off, but Emily wasn’t listening anymore. Rather, she was looking desperately between Morgan and Garcia. “Did you two know?” she asked, searching their expressions. They both looked shocked, but what Emily didn’t know was that it was from Reid’s approach, not the news of JJ seeing Will. They had known that for far too long. 

“Emily?” Reid called, seeing her far away look and becoming concerned. He saw genuine despair and shock in her dark eyes, and he nearly shivered at the devastation in her voice every time she spoke. She looked at him, searching his features for any indication that this was some joke. That this wasn’t real. But she didn’t find a thing. It _was_ real.

“I have to go,” Emily said suddenly, her eyes red and her shoulders tense as she pushed past Reid. She practically charged into the elevator, hardly waiting for the doors to open, and the last thing Morgan, Reid, and Garcia saw Emily do that day was wipe a single tear that escaped her eye.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily knows...and now she's paying JJ a visit. What will happen...heartbreak, most likely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for typos. Proofreading is a lot of work and I'm super busy lol. Enjoy ;)

Later that night, Emily found herself strapped into the front seat of her car, watching as cold heavy rain drops assaulted the glass of her windshield. The clock just above the car radio told her she had spent half an hour in that car waiting, trying to convince herself to move, to get out of that car and find JJ. She was _trying_ to move, to fix this, but the biggest obstacle was the internal battle over what she really wanted to do, what she really wanted to happen. Obviously nothing good could possibly happen now, right? Emily was angry, she felt betrayed, and she had found out in the worst way possible--from someone else. But did she really want to confront JJ? Was she really prepared to lose her altogether?

Emily sighed as she rubbed her tired eyes. _Who am I kidding?_ She thought to herself. _I already lost her from the start. Did I ever really_ have _her to begin with?_

Finally, she found the courage to unbuckle her seatbelt, turn off her car, and exit the car. She entered the cold, pouring rain, but she didn’t shiver in the cold. No, she rushed across the wet road and marched up the driveway to JJ’s house. She stopped at the front door and pounded her fist against the door three times, slamming her fist against the metal so hard the knuckle of her pinky cracked. JJ opened up immediately.

“Emily? You’re soaked--” JJ began, but she stopped when she saw the pained look on Emily’s face. She opened her mouth to speak again, but the brunette stopped her. “You go on your date yet? Or did you flake out on him, too?” Emily spat angrily. JJ stared at her in confusion. “Date? I--it was fine, Emily, come in,” the blonde replied, her brows knit. She frowned when Emily backed away. 

“No!” Emily hissed, her voice heavy with sadness. She crossed her arms over her chest defensively, and JJ couldn’t help but panic. How the _hell_ had Emily found out? “Emily…” she tried, but the brunette wasn’t finished. “How long?” she demanded, her red flushing red with anger. “How long what?” JJ asked. “How long have you been _lying_ to me. How long have you been _seeing_ that bastard of a detective?!” Emily shouted, making JJ flinched.

“Emily, we weren’t exclusive,” she defended, crossing her own arms. “We weren’t in a relationship.” Emily laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “Not exclusive, not in a relationship,” she repeated with a broken smile.”So _that’s_ where you’ve been going to every other weekend, huh?” she demanded, watching as JJ shrunk away, her eyes guilty and red from impending tears. “Visiting your _family_ , huh?” Emily shouted. “Have you even _seen_ them since we’ve been together?” JJ shook her head, nearly choking on her words. “No,” she admitted in a small voice. “You have to understand--”

“Have to _understand_ ?!” Emily cried, not caring in the _slightest_ that she was practically announcing their fight to the whole damn neighborhood. She was far too angry, too emotional, too _betrayed_ to care. “JJ, I _trusted_ you. I _believed_ you and _waited_ for you while you were off screwing some _guy_ while you told _me_ that you don’t do relationships.” JJ shut her eyes in frustration. “We weren’t exclusive!” she repeated, but she was far too tangled in the lies to even have an excuse for what she had done...what she had done to Emily who had done nothing to her but _love_ her. Emily stared at her in disbelief.

“You’re right. It was all _friendly_ when you came onto me in that bar the first time we hung out,” Emily replied maliciously. “It was _professional_ when you kissed me on the jet after that awful case where Reid was kidnapped and you were blamed. It was all _platonic_ when you practically threw yourself into my bed and begged me to have sex with you that first time!” JJ stared at the brunette in sheer shock and horror as Emily ranted, the guilt she had been fighting for so long finally taking over. “How long have you been doing this?” Emily demanded. 

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play stupid with me, Jareau! How long have you been seeing him?”

“Emily…”

“Answer my _goddamn_ question!”

“Since the case in New Orleans.” 

JJ practically watched as Emily choked on her next breath, she practically felt the brunette’s heart stop beating, shattering into a million pieces. “You made me your sidepiece,” Emily said, nearly whispering. “You made me some cheap whore who you call when you’re lonely or bored. You called me in between him, you made me _think_ we were a thing when in reality, you wanted _him_ , didn’t you?” JJ was silent, staring at Emily wordlessly. “ _Didn’t_ you?!” Emily repeated angrily. “Emily, it isn’t like that at all. He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Oh yeah, you _hate_ labels, huh? What does _he_ think about that?”

“He knows...and he’s fine with it.”

“ _Sure_ he is. People aren’t like that, you know. _Normal_ people aren’t so ass-backward like _you_.”

“We weren’t exclusive and neither were _we,_ Emily. Why do you care so much?!”

Emily laughed in disbelief, raking her hands through her hair exasperatedly. “Why do I _care_ ?!” she cried. “JJ, _maybe_ because I have spent all this time _waiting for you_ .” JJ narrowed her eyes as she listened. Waiting for _her_ ? Why? “I’ve waited _patiently_ for you to finally get your _shit_ together!” It was JJ’s turn to laugh bitterly. “ _My_ shit together, huh?” the blonde spat angrily. “Says the one who is completely incapable of being in a healthy, functional relationship. Emily, you couldn’t open up to anyone if your _life_ depended on it. You’re so damn guarded, I wonder if it’s even _possible_ for you to experience human emotions.” 

Emily’s face reddened in anger. “Oh, ok. So because I’m afraid to be vulnerable with someone, I deserve to be cheated on? Real nice, JJ,” she retorted. JJ rolled her eyes, clenching her jaw in annoyance. “We weren’t together, Emily!” she exclaimed, waving her hands exasperatedly. “Just get that through that thick head of yours. I am _not_ your girlfriend, I will never want to _be_ your girlfriend, I will never be _anyone’s_ girlfriend!” Emily stared at her, her chest heaving and her throat aching from all her yelling, and her head pounding from the distress she was under. She took a deep breath. 

“Him or me,” Emily demanded after a few moments of angry silence. JJ furrowed her brows, the anger falling right off of her face. “What?” she asked, completely confused. Emily blinked hard as she straightened her back, trying to gain her composure as quickly as possible. “I want you to choose,” she said calmly, watching JJ carefully. “Do you want to be with him, or do you want me?” JJ shook her head. “Emily…” she said desperately.

“Him or me, JJ.”

“Emily, _please_.”

“Just _say it_ . Please just _tell_ me. _Him or me_?”

“Him,” JJ blurted, and the entire world seemed to stop at an instant. She watched Emily’s face with tears welling in her cerulean blues. She watched Emily’s entire body deflate, the light of hope that had shown in the brunette’s eyes when she had asked the question completely burned out. The cold, pouring rain pounded harshly against Emily’s back, and the woman looked just about ready to melt and wash away along with it. She looked completely and utterly devastated.

“Why?” Emily asked, her voice decorated in sadness and barely audible in the rainfall and rolling thunder up above. JJ sighed, closing her eyes. “Will is easy, and Will is _safe_ ,” she replied quietly. “He talks to me, he is someone I can be in love with.” Emily scrunched her brows. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?” she asked. JJ took another sigh, and crossed her arms even tighter against her chest. “I’ve never been in love with a woman,” she admitted quietly. “And I know now that I never can. I can never be with you, Emily, I’m sorry.” 

Emily stared at her in utter disbelief. “ _That’s_ it?” Emily asked, her voice frail. “That’s why? JJ, it’s not wrong. I don’t care what people say, we can be in love--” JJ shut her eyes and moved her hands to cover her stomach. “No, Emily I’m _pregnant_!” JJ cried. “This past year was a mistake, Emily. Being with you...that was all a stupid mistake.”

Emily stopped dead in her tracks. Memories of the time she and the blonde had spent together flooded her mind, both happiness and sadness bubbling in her chest, sloshing like waves that became angrier and rougher with every passing second. It was too much. 

_I’m Jennifer, Jennifer Jareau. My friends call me JJ. It’s great to meet you._

_You’re such a dork, you know?_

_I_ really _like you, Emily Prentiss. More than I’ve ever liked a girl before. I’m kinda falling for you._

_Just one more store. And then we can go to whatever nerd store you want, or we can see whatever nerd movie you want if it's in the theaters._

_So just stop with the worrying, ok? Just trust me._

_Emily Prentiss, you are worth more than gold. You just haven’t met someone who sees it, someone who deserves you._

_This past year was a mistake, Emily. Being with_ you _...that was all a stupid mistake._

Emily closed her eyes, squeezing them tight to stop the tears building up in her eyes from falling. Her head pulsed as she sniffled. JJ...JJ had really just called the best year of Emily’s life a _mistake._ JJ had never really loved her. It was all just _too much._

“Emily?” JJ said, worried by the woman’s silence. Those last words that she spat stung her throat, and the lies that she told only made her heart ache worse. She didn’t mean it, she didn’t mean a _single_ word...but what else could she have said? She was pregnant, _Will_ had gotten her pregnant. It was over for the two women. Still, she reached out a hand to take Emily’s arm, and nearly jumped herself when Emily flinched away. 

“Don’t _touch_ me!” Emily spat angrily, glaring at the blonde. “Don’t you _ever_ touch me again! You lied to me...you played me. You...you _used me_ for sex!” JJ felt her chest burn, her heart aching. “No…” she stammered. “Emily, I didn’t... I didn’t mean what I…” she paused, watching as Emily began to back away. “Emily, I like you!” JJ pleaded, reaching again but missing again. “Emily, baby, I _really_ like you!” 

Emily shook her head, her eyes narrowed and filled with tears. “Well, I _loved you,_ JJ!” she sobbed. “I _loved_ you!” And with that, she turned away. She couldn’t take this any longer.

She _had_ to leave, she had to _escape_. And so, she ran away, fast. She ran away from JJ, she ran away from that conversation, she ran away from the hurt.

She ran away. Emily Prentiss _always_ runs. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Emily confronting JJ and Garcia not knowing what to do...or what to say, as she is completely torn in two by the situation. Features a torn Garcia and a sad/angry drunk Emily. This is a pretty angsty chapter. Pls enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late...been super busy with work and homework. This was not proofread...so sorry about any typos. Lol.

Emily had never felt more cold in her entire life. 

Her teeth chattered the entire drive home, and her hair, soaked from the rain, was plastered her cheeks and necks, causing several chills to pass throughout her entire body. She was so cold, it was painful, and the worst of the pain was concentrated in her chest where her heart beat aimlessly, tiredly. The cold was all she felt the entire hour drive home to D.C. and she couldn’t help but wonder how she had even gotten to this point. 

_ A stupid mistake _ . Her fists clenched around the steering wheel. She banished those thoughts immediately. She just needed to get home. She needed a break from it all: JJ, work, and feeling. It was all just  _ too  _ much. 

Once Emily walked quickly through the hallway of her floor in her building, and once she was close enough to see her apartment door, she was dismayed to see someone was waiting for her. Just in front of her door was Penelope Garcia, clad in a neon pink rain jacket, yellow boots. A purple umbrella was clutched in her hands, and for a split second, Emily was slightly worried that the perky blonde would come at her, wielding it like a sword. But in the end, she got the opposite. Emily found herself enveloped in a tight, almost suffocating hug that she had to beg Garcia to stop so she could open her door. 

“Oh sweet girl,” Garcia said as Emily fumbled with her keys. The brunette avoided those worried blue eyes, opting to focus on the keyhole and her shaking hands. The door slid open slowly, and Emly sighed as she glanced at her friend’s boots. “You can come in, I guess,” she said slowly, trying to keep those sobs she felt clawing at the back of her throat from coming out. Garcia looked at her, her eyes concerned. The brunette looked worse for wear, as she was soaked from rain and her eyes lacked that usual intelligent yet playful gleam. Garcia followed Emily into her apartment without a word. 

Emily gestured to the coat rack by the door and Garcia took the opportunity to take off her coat and boots, and leave her umbrella as she followed Emily further into the apartment. She watched as Emily made a beeline to the kitchen, reaching for the whiskey above her fridge before grabbing a few cubes of ice and throwing them into a glass. Emily didn’t waste a second. She threw her head back and downed the glass in one gulp before hissing and shaking her head with a scrunched face. “I take it things with JJ didn’t go so well,” Garcia ventured gently. Emly didn’t look at her. She kept her eyes on the glass as she poured more liquor into it and swirled it around in the ice. Garcia winced.

“Emily...Gumdrop, you know I’m always on your side, right--” She began, but Emily scoffed. “Why do I feel like you’re about to defend JJ?” the brunette interrupted, finally looking up at Garcia. The eye contact made Emily shiver, and she quickly glanced away as she gulped down a second glass of whiskey before sniffling and let out a sigh. “Oh honey,  _ no _ ,” Garcia said softly, walking closer to Emily, but stopped at the kitchen counter when she saw the woman tense before pouring and down yet another glass. “There is no excusing what she did to you. But please, Emily, you have to understand--” She stopped when Emily slammed the glass down on the counter and wiped her mouth with her wrist. 

“I am  _ sick  _ and  _ tired  _ of people telling me what I have to  _ understand _ ,” she blurted. She poured more whiskey into the glass and lifted it up as she spoke. “Understand  _ what _ ? That I’m undeserving and incapable of a functional relationship?!” Garcia frowned as Emily chuckled bitterly. “Emily, please put the glass down,” she requested carefully. “Why don’t you change and dry off and we just sit and watch a movie. Have you eaten?” Emily shook her head, squeezing the glass in her hand. “ _ What _ do I have to  _ understand _ ?” she demanded, ignoring the suggestion. She was far too angry to do anything else but feed her anger. Too angry to even care about herself. Garcia took a deep breath.

“Again... _ your  _ side...I’m on it. But JJ’s never been with a girl before,” Garcia began gently as Emily scoffed. “I know, she told me...oh yeah,  _ right _ before she told me she wanted to have sex with me,” she interjected bitterly. The usually perky blonde tech analyst winced, careful on how she would continue. “She has never felt about anyone the way she feels about you, and that  _ scared _ her, Em. You just brought out this side of her that she never accepted, never wanted. And JJ did what she always has. She hit and fought it,” she explained, regretting it immediately when she saw the look Emily had in her eyes. A mixture of anger, betrayal, and sadness. 

Yes, it felt wrong to talk like this...as if she were defending JJ, but in truth, choosing a side between Emily and JJ felt so wrong, more wrong than anything else. Yes she had said she was on Emily’s side, but she couldn’t help but be on JJ’s side, too. They were both her friends and this whole situation just destroyed her, she just couldn’t leave or be  _ against _ either one. This whole situation just tore her to pieces. But Emily? Garcia couldn’t even begin to imagine or even  _ compare _ to what she must’ve been feeling.

“And she lied,” Emily added, taking a sip from her glass and crossing her arms. “She  _ lied  _ to me  _ and  _ Will, and she made me some cheap side chick. She manipulated me, betrayed me...over and over and over…” she paused, taking a long drink of whiskey until the glass was empty. She tapped the rim before pouring some more. “So if you’re trying to make me feel sorry for her, it’s not working,” she finished as Garcia sighed. 

“Em, sweetie, put that…here,” she said gently as she snatched the bottle and glass away from Emily’s hands, making the brunette roll her eyes. It was then that Garcia saw how glassy they looked. She was drunk. “JJ doesn’t commit, she just tries to play both sides to avoid losing. That’s what happened,” Garcia explained. “She was wrong, so  _ so  _ wrong...but please. You need to know that it was all her. It was never anything you did.” 

Emily scoffed before reaching for the whiskey glass, only to have Garcia put it just out of reach. “She committed to  _ me _ , Pen,” she argued. “She made the first move. Then when I doubted her, she promised me that I was the only one for her. That she cared about me and my feelings. That I mean something. And she was right...I mean free drinks and a body to screw when she’s feeling guilty.” She reached again for the glass and rolled her eyes again, 

“Now, give that back! Come on…” she paused to burp, which was very undignified for the usually proper and composed Emily Prentiss. “Gimme that back or get out, and stay the...the  _ hell _ away from me.” Garcia couldn’t help but frown, hurt by her friend’s sudden harshness. Emily was definitely not going to leave the brunette in this state. She had to get through to the heartbroken and now  _ drunken _ woman. “You should get to bed, Emily,” she tried only to be denied. “Don’t tell me what...what I should do. I’m tired of it.” 

“Emily, we have work tomorrow,” Garcia tried to reason. Emily shook her head, leaning against the counter. “No  _ you and JJ _ have work,” she replied. “Now  _ please _ get out and  _ please _ give me my  _ whiskey. _ ” The blonde shook her head, placing the two objects on a stool out of Emily’s reach. “You can’t do this, Emily. You can’t just drink it away,” Garcia said firmly. She was not about to let Emily do this to herself. The brunette chuckled drunkenly, nearly losing her balance on the arm that she was balancing on. “Worth a shot,” she chuckled, though Garcia found it far from amusing. 

“What would  _ Morgan _ think if he saw you like this?” Garcia demanded. “You guys are super close, and I doubt he would be fond of your...state.” Emily shrugged. “No, he would be smiling. He was right. He was right all along. JJ was cheating on me and I was too stupid to see it,” she said with a laugh, her cheeks slightly red from all the alcohol. “Besides, who cares what he thinks? I don’t, I don’t care about anything anymore. Now please…” she paused to rub her eyes with her fists, smudging her already messed up makeup. “I don’t want to talk anymore.” 

Garcia looked at her to see a sudden weakness in Emily’s eyes, and she knew that if she pressed into the issue with JJ, if she continued to explain JJ’s thinking, she would be risking Emily shutting down...even worse than she is about to. The toll this would be taking...Garcia needed to let her be. For now, at least.

“Just promise you’ll go to bed now,” Garcia relented, holding on tightly to her purse strap as she watched Emily pour herself a glass of water. “Garcia...I’m a damn adult,” Emily protested, though her tone lacked any true venom. She didn’t sound angry at all anymore. Just tired. “One who’s about to drink herself to death. Promise me or I’ll just take this lovely bottle with--” Garcia trailed off. Emily jumped as she turned around. “No! Fine, fine, fine. I’ll go to bed.” Garcia grinned as she walked over to her friend and hugged her gently. Her heart melted at the way Emily just stiffened. 

“Goodnight, Em,” Garcia said gently. “Call me if you need anything.  _ Please  _ call me.” She backed away and watched as Emily nodded slowly. “Ok,” she agreed through tight lips. 

A few minutes later, Garcia was gone, and Emily’s apartment was a lot less colorful, and a whole lot darker. Emily shut off all of her lights as she wandered drunkenly upstairs to her bedroom, the bottle of whiskey clanging against the bars of the stair rail. Each step felt higher than the next, and she nearly stumbled several times. She finally did near the top step, hitting her head on the next stair. She let out a groan, but didn’t leave much time to consider her pain. She was just glad she wasn’t dead and that she hadn’t dropped the bottle.

After what felt like forever, Emily was flinging her shoes across the room, ripping off her clothes, and flopping down in her bed, not even caring enough to shower or wash her face off. She didn’t even bother to check out the small gash she was sporting safer her fall up the stairs. She just curled with the bottle of whiskey and closed her eyes. 

_ This past year was a mistake, Emily. Being with  _ you _...that was all a stupid mistake. _

_ Stupid mistake. _

_ Will is easy, and Will is safe _ .

_ He talks to me, he is someone I can be in love with. _

_ I’m pregnant. _

_ I can never be with you, Emily. _

Memories flooded Emily’s head. JJ’s words hit her all over, the same effect shooting rapid fire into her heart, breaking it more and more. Her chest ached more and more. She couldn’t sleep, not like that. No, she needed something good in her mind, something peaceful to put her to sleep. Whiskey was a good start but she needed something else. 

And that’s when another memory, one new and unexpected, manifested in her mind, blowing away all the others like a strong, dominating wind. The memory of Emily's hands combing through long, silky blonde hair. Then the smell of lemon shampoo. It was JJ’s hair...or at least the memory of it... that what put Emily to sleep, that made her feel safe.

It was always JJ. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, again, I didn't proofread because....it takes too long. So sorry for typos. Enjoy!

It was two days after Emily appeared outside JJ’s door, two days since she had made JJ’s choose, and things, no  _ everything _ , had just downward spiraled from there. Things were quickly and rapidly just getting worse.

The team had been shocked to hear that Emily had requested a few weeks off, and everyone knew exactly why. JJ had been even more distressed and snappy, she began slipping up on paperwork and missing calls and again, it was no secret as to why. Anyone who didn’t know was either blind or in need of serious guidance. The tension was thick enough to be cut with a sword. Cases sped up and JJ slowed down. Paperwork filled up to the ceiling and the team was undermanned and too distracted by the drama to be efficient. If things kept going on the way they were, the BAU would be in serious trouble, and Strauss would catch wind of it, no doubt.  _ That  _ was the last thing the team needed. 

JJ was sitting in her office, staring at the multitudes of casefile piles on her desk, genuinely concerned there would be an avalanche. The morning sickness had been worse than ever before that day, and her head was pounding from a caffeine deficiency since coffee was off the table for nine months. Her hand shook and her knees bounced as she reached for her cell phone. She opened it to find that Will had  _ still _ not responded to her ten missed calls and twenty texts that she had done  _ that  _ day. “That asshole,” she muttered under her breath as she resisted the urge to chuck her phone out of her office window. 

She opted to shove it back in her desk drawer, and moved to reach for her desk phone and dialed the first number she could think of. “Greetings, mortal,” she heard Garcia chirp into the phone. “How can the Goddess of Information assist you today?” JJ chuckled half-heartedly. “Hey, PG,” she said. There was a silence. “JJ,” Garcia said quietly after a few moments. “If this is about Emily...I don’t know anything, ok?.”  _ Emily _ . That’s all JJ cared about at that moment. Where was she, what was she doing? Was...was she ok? She had left JJ’s house a mess, but what had become of her now?

“Pen,” JJ pleaded, rubbing her temple with her free hand. “I  _ know _ you’ve talked to her or maybe even  _ seen  _ her. Please, I just want to know if she’s ok.” Garcia sighed. “And  _ she _ doesn’t want a thing to do with you right now.” JJ bit her lip as she stared out her office window, dodging the glare she got from Morgan, and staring intently at Emily's empty, motionless desk. It was  _ neat _ , and that only made Emily’s absence feel even longer. It only made JJ feel even worse. “I’m worried, Pen. Emily...Emily has never done this before. She always comes to work, she even  _ tried  _ to when she had pneumonia that one time,” JJ rambled, her tone becoming sharper and sharper as she continued, “So don’t bullshit me, please. How  _ is _ she?” 

Garcia was silent for a few moments, but JJ soon heard her whimper. “Jayje...she made me swear I wouldn’t be a middle man…” she said cautiously, and JJ couldn’t help but feel annoyed. “Pen, is she dead?” 

“No?”

“Suicidal?”

“No.”

“Is she drinking?”

“Yes.”

“What do I do, Pen? What do I do?”

“No! No, that’s  _ it _ , no more! Jayje, just...let her--”

“Let her  _ what _ ?” JJ demanded harshly, cutting off Garcia. Again, the tech analyst let out a troubled sigh. “Just let her go,” she finished. JJ’s jaw clenched.  _ Let her go?  _ “You obviously didn’t choose her, so let her go, JJ.”  _ Let her go.  _ JJ couldn’t, not like this. No, not when she loved Emily. “I can’t,” JJ argued, her voice tight. “You  _ have  _ to, JJ!” Garcia replied. “You lied to her and broke her heart. If you do really care about her, just let her be, and let her hate you.”

_ Let her hate you _ . JJ closed her eyes. That was the last thing she wanted to do. The last thing she  _ needed  _ was being without Emily at a time like this. More than anything, she wanted to see the brunette’s dork smile, and she wanted to hear her laugh again. She didn’t want all of this guilt, this stress. But she had messed up...bad. She doubted anything would ever be the same. Suddenly, she realized she needed to ask something.

“She hates me,” JJ muttered, trying to keep her voice steady. The thought instantly made JJ sick to her stomach, but she knew it was true. She knew it from the way Emily had looked at her that night, her eyes angry. She remembered that hurt that flashed across her face, the way that Emily fled, never looking back, ignoring JJ’s cries for her to wait. JJ thought about the way Emily hadn’t come to work, how she had been hiding out, avoiding her. Garcia didn’t know what to say.  _ Uh, YEAH _ , she thought to herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it, she didn’t want to be that person. Garcia didn’t know what to say. When she opened her mouth to respond with  _ something _ , JJ was already talking again. 

“Hey, Pen?” she asked, her voice much smaller than she would have liked. “Yes, JJ?” the other woman replied cautiously, worried about what this new tone of voice could mean for her. JJ sounded pissed, but it was quite the opposite. “Do you think I’m a slut?” JJ blurted, her face burning from embarrassment. Garcia was floored, but she answered calmly and honestly. “Well I wouldn’t mistake you for a nun, JJ,” she replied with a giggle. JJ winced. 

“Please, I’m being serious!”

“I am too! JJ, you were double dating. That’s not very prudish, you know.”

“Emily probably thinks I’m a slut.”

“Jayje--”

“And  _ Morgan _ .”

“Yeah, my sweet prince is not your biggest fan at the moment.”

JJ sighed heavily, slumping on her desk in defeat. “Everyone hates me,” she groaned. “No one hates you,” Garcia argued as JJ peered out of her window again to catch Reid and Morgan both staring at her, the boy genius annoyed, and the other glaring angrily. This only confirmed her statement. “Yeah well I can physically feel the glares from Morgan and Reid, so I don’t believe you,” JJ sighed. “What do I do?” Garcia sighed before falling silent.

“Just...take a deep breath and relax so you can catch up on your sea of case files before Hotch or god forbid the FBI’s Resident She-Devil notices you’re not your magical workaholic self,” Garcia suggested after a few moments. “But I have a call on the other line, peaches. Cheer up, alright?” 

And with that, JJ was met with the dial tone. She fought the urge to throw the phone at the wall and scream. She was angry, stressed, and everyone was against her. She was miserable. The  _ last  _ thing she wanted was to get back to work, but she knew Garcia was right. Besides...what other option did she have? Strauss would make things so much worse if  _ she  _ were to find out about the BAU’s sudden dysfunction.

With a sigh, JJ scooted her chair closer to her desk and clicked on her pen, opening a casefile. She didn’t have a choice but to try to pick up these painful, shattered pieces.

  
  


\-- -- 

The next day, Emily returned to work looking worse for wear, and her shoulders were tense as she made her way to her desk. As she was setting her bag down under her desk, she glanced around the room, praying she wouldn’t see JJ. Once she was certain the coast was clear, she made her way to the kitchenette to pour herself a cup of coffee. 

“Hey, Princess!” Morgan called from behind her, startling her. “Ah, damn!” she hissed as boiling hot coffee splashed on her hand. She nearly dropped the pot on the counter in her rush to grab paper towels, and Morgan watched her, his brows furrowed in worry. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry,” he said, stepping closer to her. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Everything ok?” Emily almost chuckled. What a question! It wasn’t like Emily had spent the whole night before dreading her return to work, and it  _ certainly _ wasn’t like she had downed a whole bottle of whiskey early that morning to settle her nerves. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, grimacing as her hand stung from a slight burn. “Just a bit burned now.” She tried for a smile as she turned to face her friend. “But beside that, I’m all good. Ready to get working, and profiling and…” she stopped when she noticed another figure behind Morgan. Confused, he turned and he scowled when he saw JJ stopping dead in her tracks. The two women found themselves in an intense stare, both of their faces blank, void of any emotion. Emily watched as JJ faltered, however, spinning on her heel and bounding back for her office, closing her door in retreat. Emily’s heart clenched, and she quickly turned back to look at her half-full mug. 

“Anyway, I’m just a bit tired,” Emily said quietly, but Morgan saw straight through that facade. He knew she was still hurting, and he saw the way she had looked at JJ. It was not a look of anger, or hate. No, it was love. A loving gaze at the very woman who stole her heart only to rip it into a million pieces. That upset him more than the brunette could ever know. 

“If she gives you  _ any  _ trouble, you let me know, Em,” he said gently, but seriously. When she didn’t meet his gaze, he moved so that his eyes aligned with hers. “This is your job, too. Don’t let her scare you off.” Emily almost laughed. Scared of JJ? She certainly was not afraid of the blonde. Afraid of what the blonde could  _ do  _ to her? Definitely. She nodded at her friend, trying for a smile, but it fell more into just pursed lips and a twitch that sort of looked like a smirk, but it quickly fell. She knew that Morgan would always have her back, and she  _ believed  _ it. She just didn’t believe there was much he could do other than glare at and antagonize JJ. Still, she appreciated the sentiment.

Emily filled her mug and scooped some sugar into her coffee before taking a long sip. “I think we have a case, Morgan said after a few moments. Emily looked at him with an arched brow. “Think?” she asked. He nodded, pointing at JJ walking out of Hotch’s office, holding a casefile as she bounded to where Reid was sitting. She tapped the boy genius on the shoulder and he looked up at her. Now Emily is no lip reader, but she was sure JJ had said: “We have a case”. She sighed. She had spent the whole night before dreading coming back to work, a case was the last thing she had wanted. She had hoped for a slow first day, but that was obviously not going to happen. 

Morgan and Emily watched as JJ left Reid, who was now grabbing his bag and heading for the conference room, and she froze. Emily and JJ once again shared a gaze, neither of them moving an inch. It only lasted a few seconds, as Emily quickly ducked her head and looked away as JJ shot her a small smile. The blonde moved closer to the two, holding up a case file. “We have a case,” JJ announced, confirming Emily’s fear even more. The brunette took her coffee and walked away without another word and Morgan followed, shooting JJ a dirty look. 

Emily knew coming back to work would mean a lot of things: more stress, long hours of said stress, and being constantly reminded and tormented about what happened and JJ...and that feeling of anger she felt along with the humiliation. Not only had she allowed herself to fall in love, but she had also been so  _ stupid _ as to believe JJ’s lies, one after one, when her entire team saw through them. Emily hated herself for that, but JJ? Emily rolled her eyes. The brunette  _ still  _ couldn’t bring herself to hate her. Rather, she hated herself.

  
As Emily entered the room and took a seat between Reid and Morgan, she knew she had to turn off those thoughts, forget about  _ JJ _ , and focus on the case. But then again...how could she do that when it was  _ JJ  _ that was presenting the case? 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily comes back just in time for the episode "Lucky", but with the way things are going with JJ, Lady Luck is definitely not on her side, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I posted two chapters today. Ah I fell so behind. Sorry for typos. There is still so much left of this fic. I know some of you left some suggestions, and I'm sorry if I don't do them all, but I shall try. It just all depends on what is going on and I'm sort trying to follow canon for a little longer? Maybe? Sigh...we'll have to see. I WILL try, nonetheless. Lol, enjoy.

JJ grimaced as she passed out copies of the casefiles to the team. “This is a bad one,” she prefaced grimly, shooting a look at Emily, who only dodged her gaze by glancing at Morgan. She was so not about to let JJ bring this drama between them into the briefing in front of their team, their  _ boss _ , no less. The blonde’s gesture simply pissed her off. “How bad?” Morgan questioned, his brows furrowed incredulously. JJ frowned, but quickly pursed her lips, trying to hide her disappointment. “ _ Florida _ .” He looked at Emily, who only shrugged, it made sense. Florida could be a real treasure, indeed. 

When a file was flopped onto the table in front of her, Emily reached to take it, but JJ moved faster. Her hand grazed Emily’s hand, making the brunette jump, as she picked the folder up from the table and offered it to the brunette. Emily rolled her eyes as she snatched it away, annoyed by how desperately JJ was trying to get her attention. Hadn’t the blonde done enough already? Couldn’t she finally just leave Emily alone? Maybe accepting the file gracefully would be enough for JJ. But as the briefing went on, it became clear that it wasn’t.

JJ presented the case: in Bridgewater, Florida, a nineteen year old’s body (or at least half of it) had been discovered by joggers with an inverted pentagram carved into her chest. Naturally, it was a disturbing case, and it certainly didn’t help that JJ kept stealing glances at Emily and Emily kept watching Morgan glare back at the blonde...all while they were supposed to be focusing on the details of the case. Yet, she shrunk away from it all, scooting her chair back ever so slightly, because after all, this was about  _ her _ . JJ trying to get  _ her  _ attention. Morgan pissed at JJ on  _ her  _ behalf. This whole can of worms had opened because Emily was stupid enough to think someone like JJ would want a relationship with her, and that it all would work out. 

Still, Emily stared at the screen, only glancing away a few times. She forced herself to speak up, because it  _ was _ still her  _ job _ to throw out ideas and contribute her thoughts. But of course, there was just no stopping that cloud of tension that Emily brought everywhere she went. 

After the briefing, Emily grabbed her coffee and practically sprinted out into the bullpen, heading for her desk as quickly as she could, Morgan right behind her. “So much for being all good, Princess,” he commented, much to her annoyance. “You practically ran away right in front of Hotch.” Emily sighed, picking up her go bag from under her desk. She just really wasn’t in the mood for this. The case had already got her a bit on edge, and now her head was pounding because that was  _ just  _ what she needed. 

“Well excuse me from wanting to get away from the person who lied to, used, _and_ _cheated_ on me,” she snapped before downing the rest of her coffee. She hissed at the sensation of chugging hot coffee, she needed something harder...like whiskey or even just a beer. But at work, coffee was the next best thing. Morgan sighed as he walked over to his desk to get his own bag. “Ok, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Emily sighed with a shrug. “I’m going to grab coffee,” she announced before turning to walk away. Then, she quickly stopped when she noticed him following her and shot him a look. He raised his hands in surrender and walked to catch up with Hotch and Rossi. 

Shouldering her bag, Emily grabbed her mug and headed for the kitchenette where she put the cup in the sink and grabbed a paper to-go cup. She was pouring the coffee when she felt someone’s presence behind her.  _ Please, universe, _ Emily thought to herself as she shakily poured creamer into her cup, trying to play it off.  _ Just don’t let it be her. _

“Hey, Gumdrop!” Garcia greeted with her usual perky tone and goofy grin. Emily nearly sighed in relief. “Hey, Pen,” Emily replied, trying her best to mirror her friend’s smile, but it proved to be harder than she expected, as there was this new spark in the tech analyst’s eye. In fact, there was a whole new  _ glow  _ to her. Emily smirked. “What’s got you all peppier than usual?” she asked. Garcia shrugged, but her smile only grew wider. “I may have met this smoking hot, technically-challenged man at the coffee shop this morning,” she drawled as Emily raised her brows, her lips curving with the first genuine smile in over a week. “Oh?” she teased, pouring some sugar into her coffee. She glanced at the clock. She still had ten minutes to get to the airstrip, she could chat for another minute or so. 

“A guy, huh?

“A  _ hot  _ one. Em, he gave me his  _ number _ ! This  _ never  _ happens!”

“Well good for you, PG!”

“Oh it is good, and he’s  _ certainly  _ for me.”

Emily laughed as she slipped on a top to her coffee cup. “That’s really great, Garcia,” she said with a small smile. She soon found herself being enveloped in a tight bear hug, and she nearly dropped her newly made coffee. “How are you doing, sweet girl?” Garcia blurted, speaking as fast as she could. The blonde tensed. “ _ Damn _ , I was trying really hard to leave you alone and not ask, but I can’t keep ignoring your sad, sad eyes.” Emily sighed, backing away from the hug before trying for a smile again, but it was clearly forced and it was way harder to form than just moments before. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to wave off the blonde’s concern. “I just needed a break, anyway. The only bad thing is that it’s my first day back, and we have a bad one waiting for us.” Garcia grimaced. 

“How bad?” 

“Satanic Floridian serial killers.”

“That sounds like a  _ horrific  _ documentary, thank you very much.” 

\-- -- 

To say that the plane ride to Florida was uncomfortable would be an understatement. Firstly, Emily had no idea where to sit. Usually, she sat with JJ and maybe Reid would join them, but now, she just didn’t know who to sit with. If she sat with Morgan, he would no doubt keep smothering her with concern. If she sat with Reid, he would undoubtedly get guilty and end up talking her ear off. Maybe Hotch? Emily shivered. Sure they weren’t as nearly as hostile in the beginning, but he still spooked her more than she’d like to admit.  _ Him or Rossi wouldn’t be so bad _ , Emily thought as she walked over, but she froze when she saw the way the latter was staring at her, no,  _ studying _ her. She awkwardly looked away and mindlessly opted to slide into the seat beside Morgan.  _ Damn it, _ she thought.  _ You have no backbone, do you? _

Emily watched as JJ boarded the plane, clearly unsure of who she should sit with, too. But her decision was made quicker and seemingly less awkward, as she simply sat across the table from Morgan, next to Hotch. Emily rolled her eyes, and stared down at the file in her hands.  _ She  _ didn’t have backbone, but  _ JJ  _ sure did. 

As much as she was loath to admit, Emily just couldn’t bring herself to look at JJ. All it did was serve as a brutal and rather blatant reminder of  _ that night _ ...of Will...the baby...and just the fact that Emily couldn’t have her. It also didn’t help that just thinking about the blonde made her harsh words play on repeat in Emily’s mind. 

_ This past year was a mistake, Emily. Being with  _ you _...that was all a stupid mistake. _

_ Stupid mistake. _

_ Will is easy, and Will is safe _ .

_ He talks to me, he is someone I can be in love with. _

_ I’m pregnant. _

_ I can never be with you, Emily. _

Over and over, louder and louder, clearer and clearer. She had let herself fall in love, and now look at her. Unable to hold eye contact, unable to  _ speak _ to the blonde. She was quieter than ever, she was meeker than ever and simply, she was angrier and sadder than ever. All because she let herself get just a bit too close to JJ, she had believed in her too much. Even when she knew she was being pushed away. 

After the team discussed the case further, bouncing ideas off one another and trying to determine the type of satanic killer, Emily reached into her bag and pulled out the first book she had picked from her bookshelf,  _ Wuthering Heights _ , and opened it. It wasn’t the cheeriest story she could have chosen, but she had been in such a melancholy mood that it just worked. Dodging JJ’s desperate stare, Morgan’s worried glance, and Hotch’s narrowed but confused eyes, Emily unconsciously slipped her nails into her mouth and began to chew as she desperately tried to get lost in the story.

Between the stares, the elements of the recent case, and the impending headache she felt building up in her skull, it didn’t prove to be so easy. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This follows the episode "Penelope" with an extra pinch of Jemily drama and Emily trauma. Honestly, this whole mess should be renamed Jemily Drama and Emily Trauma. But idk, I got the title from a song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter do be the longest I think. And yes, I addded Jemily drama to a garcia-centric episode, so I apologize Garcia stans XD. I love her just he same but we Jemily stans live for the drama. And Prentiss stans live for the trauma...oh wait, that's just everyone who reads fanfic. Oops. Again, sorry for any typos. Pls enjoy :D

Emily had just gotten back to her apartment, changed into her pajamas and settled onto her couch when she had heard her phone ringing, and she groaned. She reluctantly set down her glass of wine and grabbed her phone from her counter. She nearly dropped it when she saw JJ’s name and picture flash across her screen.  _ What the hell _ , she thought, glancing at her clock.  _ It’s 2 AM...no I am not doing this again. _ She let her phone ring, throwing it onto the couch where she had been sitting.

Emily grabbed her glass of wine and walked over to her floor to ceiling window and stared off at the Washington Memorial, trying not to pay attention to her phone, which was now ringing for a second time. She didn’t dare look, she just stared ahead, knowing that if she did, a part of her would want to answer just out of curiosity. But that was too risky. She opted to let it ring not two, not three, but four more times as she sipped her wine and stared at D.C. below her, nearly entranced by the lights. But when her phone rang from the fifth time, she found herself spinning around. 

Sighing, Emily walked over to her couch and reached for the source of the offending sound. This time, she answered right away. “Reid?” she asked, confused. “Hey, Emily,” the boy genius replied, but something was wrong, and Emily heard it right away. “What’s wrong, Reid? Are you ok?” she asked, walking over to her counter to refill her now empty glass. 

“I figured you wouldn’t answer JJ no matter how much she called, so I decided to try,” he began, causing Emily’s shoulders to tense at the mention of the blonde. “But Garcia was shot and she was rushed into surgery. The whole team is gathering at the hospital to wait for her, and I wanted to let you know.” Emily nearly dropped the bottle of wine, but she managed to catch it with only a few drops falling onto her tile floor. “ _ What?!”  _ she hissed, barely hearing her own voice. “Text me the name of the hospital I’m on my way!”

Emily dashed into her laundry room where she threw open her dryer and slipped on the first shirt, slacks, and jacket she could find, hoping they would all match. She grabbed her heels by the door, slipped her purse into her bag, and grabbed her keys before rushing out of the door.

\-- -- 

When Emily made it to the hospital, she practically kicked open the doors on her way in. Her hand clutched tightly onto the strap of her purse in an attempt to keep it from swinging off of her shoulder as she sped walked to where Reid had told her the team was waiting. 

When she rounded the corner, the first thing she saw was of course JJ, who was pacing back and forth in distress, but she stopped when the brunette came into sight. Shrinking away slightly at the blonde’s glance, Emily walked straight for Hotch, but JJ quickly and easily intercepted her. “I called you. Four or five times,” JJ gushed out, her brows furrowed in anger, and her eyes filled with hurt. The sight made Emily feel guilty. The guilt made her want to vomit. 

“Can you blame me?” Emily spat out without a single thought. JJ’s eyes widened. “Besides, I’m not here for you, I’m here for Penelope. Don’t you  _ dare  _ make this about  _ anything else _ .” JJ took a few steps back , shocked by Emily’s forwardness, but the brunette quickly brushed it all off. She looked at Reid, who appeared to be pretending not to be eavesdropping. She almost smirked, despite the situation. For a profiler, he was sure bad at faking it. 

“Where is Morgan?” she asked, realizing the man was missing. Hotch, JJ, Reid, and even Rossi were there, but no Morgan? That just felt so wrong. “He’s not answering his phone,” JJ replied, looking pointedly at Emily, who was too busy scrolling through her phone for Morgan’s number to notice. But Rossi did. How could no one else notice the drama that only added to and worsened the present predicament? “I’ll try calling him again,” Reid announced, walking away. Emily glanced at JJ, then Rossi before she opted to try to text the missing agent.

JJ sighed before she walked away, heading for a group of doctors and nurses to ask for an update on Garcia. Hotch and Rossi discussed the severity of Garcia’s wounds. Then, JJ came back, looking troubled. “They can’t give me an update,” she said tiredly, and Emily glanced up at her momentarily before Reid appeared beside her with more bad news. “Morgan’s voice just keeps going straight to voicemail,” he announced, and Emily couldn’t help but become angry. “Where the hell is he?” she demanded impatiently. No one responded. Then, she wished she had gone home with Garcia that night. She should have been there, like she had been offered, to hear about Garcia’s date. She should have been there early, to be there when Garcia was coming back. Maybe just maybe...Emily could have helped her friend. Maye she would have been ok, and everyone would be home as planned, not huddled in the waiting room outside the OR.

Maybe Emily should have taken Garcia’s offer to come over...no she definitely should have. Maybe then, Emily wouldn’t be worrying her butt off in a cramped, uncomfortable plastic chair...with JJ staring at her from where she stood awkwardly in the corner of the room. 

Hours passed by, but it just felt like forever for the team. Almost as if they were taking turns, everyone periodically sat in the chairs, paced corner to corner, wandered the halls anxiously, and attempted to find coffee. When Emily was coming back from pacing the halls, her nails chewed nearly to a nub, she stopped when she saw JJ sitting alone, hunched over with her chin resting on her palm. Her blue eyes were far away and distracted. JJ was at her most vulnerable, and Emily suddenly couldn't look away. 

It was pathetic, she knew it. Still, Emily’s heart clenched and her stomach did flips as she wandered towards the blonde. She took a seat on the left of JJ and watched her carefully, taken aback by the devastated look on her face, and without a single thought, a single moment of hesitation, she reached her hand down to take JJ’s wrist. She watched as JJ hesitantly turned her hand around, but Emily quickly and confidently took the blonde’s hand. Little did she know, however, how high JJ’s heart leapt at the gesture.  _ Maybe there’s still a chance _ , she thought.

Time continued to drag on, and though Emily hated to admit it, things seemed slightly less scary, but also, a whole lot less lonely. 

\-- -- 

Finally, the surgeon came to the team and told her that during surgery, a miracle had occurred and that Garcia would actually be able to walk out of the hospital in a few days. Once that was finally confirmed, the team got straight to work to find the sicko who had targeted and attacked the sweetest, most caring person anyone in the BAU knew. And JJ...well, she had a mission of her own, and not a very discreet one. Everyone, except Emily ironically, had caught onto this sidequest, especially when she had pushed herself into whatever Emily was doing. ]

The brunette begrudgingly let her. She knew how close JJ and Garcia were, and she just didn’t have the heart or the lack of which, to deny JJ. As far as she knew, the blonde was just working as hard as anyone else, but she didn’t see that she was also working at rebuilding their friendship by reminding everyone of their badass dynamic. 

This case was hard, with major bumps in it, including blockage from IA. But between JJ and Emily’s combined stubbornness, they were able to work through it. In the end however, JJ found herself staring down the barrel of her own gun, watching as Jason Clark Battle fell dead to the ground, her eyes wide in shock. She really had just shot a man dead, right in the bullpen. Right in front of Emily’s desk. Emily.

JJ was rigid, shocked by the turn of events, and all she wanted...no, all she needed was Emily. She turned quickly to see Emily right behind her, rushing with Morgan and Garcia, her dark eyes wide in surprise, herself. They locked gazes, and much to her own surprise, JJ was launching herself at Emily.

Emily caught her, her brows flying up, and her mouth opening to speak, but no words came out. JJ pressed herself against Emily firmly, gripping her shirt tightly, and Emily was too stunned and too emotionally exhausted to push her away, so they stood there for a few moments until JJ realized Emily wasn’t hugging her back. 

Confused, JJ moved away and looked up at the brunette, who stared back at her blankly. “JJ…” she began with a sigh. “Are you alright?” JJ’s heart dropped and she frowned. She nodded slowly, and Emily tried for a smile, but ultimately failed. She walked around JJ saying, “I’m going to go check on Penelope.” JJ watched her go, disappointed and slightly hurt. She nearly jumped when she heard Morgan scoff. “So now you chase after her,” he muttered, storming past. Now completely alone, JJ leaned against a table by the kitchenette, watching as Morgan, Garcia, and Emily talked. 

Emily eventually separated from the group, heading to the kitchenette for coffee, but by that point, Garcia was talking to JJ. After a few comforting words about the team and the family they made, JJ couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the dorky Kevin Lynch making googly eyes at the tech goddess herself. “I think someone’s watching you,” JJ whispered, gesturing at the male tech analyst. She watched as Garcia caught his gaze and watched it change to shock. Garcia stared at JJ.

“Do you think everything happens for a reason?” she asked. JJ pursed her lips, and she nearly smiled when the perky tech analyst gestured to Emily, who was now heading out of the bullpen. Then, Garcia made her way to Kevin, and JJ practically sprinted to chase after Emily. 

Emily was tired, and she was praying that this cup of coffee would be her saving grace so that she could drive home without falling asleep at the wheel. So far, it seemed to be working, and she was just glad to even be on her way home. She jumped when she heard her name, and that caused her to hiss in pain from a splash of hot coffee to her hand.  _ Shit _ , she thought.

“Emily!” 

Emily turned to see JJ running after her, and she furrowed her brow as her pursuer bent over to catch her breath, panting like a distressed bulldog. “Emily…” JJ breathed, her voice uneven. Emily raised a brow, hoping this would be quick. Finally, JJ’s breathing returned to normal and she looked up at Emily, locking eyes with her. “Emily,” she repeated, this time with a smile. Not knowing what to say, Emily just went with the first thing she thought of. 

“Are you sure you’re ok, JJ? I know it must have been hard on you to shoot and kill a guy,” Emily said. JJ shook her head, this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. “Em...she began, and Emily winced at the term of endearment. “Please don’t call me that,” she requested, before practically hiding behind her coffee. JJ sighed. “Em... Emily, I just wanted to thank you,” she said quietly. Emily raised a brow inquisitively. “For being there for me earlier...at the hospital.” Emily sighed, a twinge of regret wracking her chest. She really shouldn’t have done what she did. She just  _ knew _ it would make things even more complicated. 

“It was nothing,” Emily said dismissively, shrugging for good measure. JJ shook her head. “But it wasn’t,” she argued. “It wasn’t to me. How can you even say that?” Now Emily really wanted to make Reid build a time machine so she could travel back to that morning to slap some sense into herself. Or maybe punch...or throttle. But alas, she couldn’t. Now she had to deal with the consequences. 

“JJ…” Emily began, taking a deep breath. “Please, don’t do this.” Again, JJ shook her head. She was not listening. “But Emily, it showed me that things don’t have to be this way. Things can go back to the way they were,” she insisted, but she quickly frowned at the brunette’s response. Emily actually... _ laughed _ . But it was bitter, it was angry. It was baffled. “No we can’t, JJ,” Emily replied, a chuckle interrupting her words. “JJ, you cheated on me whether you want to admit it or not, you’re pregnant, and you chose Will over me! How the  _ hell _ can anything be the way it was?” 

JJ winced at the words. “Emily…” she began, but the brunette wasn’t willing to negotiate. “I don’t  _ want _ to go back, JJ, I don’t want to go through that ever again.” JJ frowned, staring at Emily before she crossed her arms self-consciously. “But...can we at least be friends, then?” she asked quietly, her words barely audible. Emily’s face softened, and she lifted her hand to chew on her nails nervously. “I don’t want to be your friend, JJ,” Emily said honestly, though her heart was once again clenched. She felt put on the spot, and the humiliation she had been carrying around with her fell back onto her tense shoulders. “You used me, you lied to me, you betrayed my trust, and you violated me in every way. It was always about you and what you wanted. You never cared about me or what I needed. I don’t think we can ever be friends again, not after that.” JJ’s eyes widened.

“Then why did you hold my hand, then?” she demanded, suddenly angry. Emily shrank away at the burst of emotion, staring at the blonde coldly. “Because you were upset,” Emily said quietly. “And for some reason I still care...even after everything you did to me. I hate you, I hate what you did to me, but still…” she trailed off with a bitter chuckle. “Still I care about you! But one day, hopefully soon, I won’t. All of my feelings, and whatever feelings you claim to have for me will fade, and all we’ll have left are memories, nightmares, and scars. But that’s not what I want for myself. I want to move on.” And with that, Emily straightened her back and headed out to the parking lot, leaving JJ alone to watch her in defeat. 

And just as she was about to head to her own car, JJ’s phone rang. It was Will. With a sigh, she answered and used her fakest happy voice and wore her most superficial smile as she listened to him talk about his day, rant about his chaotic precinct, and fuss over ideas for baby names. 

JJ couldn’t have been less happy if she tried. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rossi has had enough, and summons the all-NOT-seeing Hotch to intervene. We love confusion, loyalty, and a passive aggressive Reid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so LONG to post. Idk, motivation kinda went a little low, but I'm back. Thanks for being patient. Also, proofreading is too much work so...I didn't do it. Anyway, pls enjoy, and this one goes out to our fav confused unit chief...and angst lovers <3

Three weeks later, things were still tense in the BAU and Rossi suddenly grew tired of watching Emily avoid JJ, JJ stare longingly at Emily, Garcia shrink away everytime Emily and JJ were in the same room, and Morgan look like he wanted to throttle JJ every time he saw her. As amusing as it had been at first, he started to notice that their work was becoming affected. Emily refused to go anywhere with JJ, Morgan was hovering over Emily, Reid was a lot less willing to give random facts due to the tension, and the only one who really focused on any of the cases was Hotch. But why wasn’t  _ he  _ noticing this, Rossi wondered. 

One morning, before anyone else on the team had come into work, Rossi arrived and made a beeline to Hotch’s office. Hotch was there, not that he was surprised. The man never seemed to know what sleep was. Hotch looked up at Rossi, almost as if he were surprised. “Dave?” he said, his brows furrowing. “You’re here early.” Rossi scoffed. “Says the one who I never see leave this office,” he replied. “I could say the same.” Hotch nodded, gesturing for a seat as if he were just dismissing the point.

“Something wrong?” he asked attentively. Rossi stuck his hands into his pockets, observing Hotch’s oblivious face. “How often would you say that you peer out this office window?” he asked cryptically. Hotch frowned. “How many...I couldn’t say. Why are you asking--” Rossi cut him off with another question. “Ok, next question: how common is it for Morgan to hover over Prentiss, only leaving her alone to go to the bathroom or get coffee?” he asked. Before Hotch could even open his mouth, the senior agent continued with  _ another  _ question. “Or how about, why is JJ always taking these mysterious personal calls to her office? And speaking of her, why is she always making a rather  _ zealous _ effort to get Prentiss’ attention? And how often does Reid never have  _ something  _ arbitrary to say when the whole group is together. Back to Prentiss, how often does she come to work looking like she hasn’t slept in a week, and where did her signature snarky comments go?” With that, Rossi finally took a seat in a chair in front of the desk, folding his hands as he shot Hotch an expectant look.

Hotch straightened in his seat, leaning forward on his desk. “You really think I don’t notice what’s going on around here?” he asked, his face void of emotion. “All of them are completely out of character. I just have no idea  _ what  _ is happening, and as long as the job is getting done…” he trailed off in defeat. Rossi raised a brow. “Ok, Aaron, let me help you,” he said in the same tone that an adult would talk to a young child. “You know what was always  _ my  _ big problem with the brass? Ever heard of  _ fraternization between coworkers _ ?” he stood up, straightening his jacket as Hotch watched him. “This team is close, but maybe a little  _ too  _ close. But you’re right...as long as the job is getting done...as haphazardly and dysfunctional as possible, it's ok. I wonder if there’s any coffee...” 

Hotch watched as Rossi left his office, his frown even deeper than usual, a newfound headache wracking his skull. Fraternizing? Who? He sighed, grabbing his phone. He dialed Morgan and Prentiss and left them both a message to come in early, and head straight to his office.  _ I swear,  _ he thought as he hung up the phone.  _ I turn my back for five seconds… _

\-- -- 

When Emily received Hotch’s message, she thought she was going to have a heart attack. She wouldn’t say that Hotch’s message was  _ rude _ , but it wasn’t exactly friendly either. His tone had been that polite but  _ clearly  _ pissed off tone that she had often heard growing up as a daughter of a politician. This did not sit well with her.

The entire time it took for her to get dressed and well...sober, Emily had this sinking feeling. She had spent months trying to get off of Hotch’s apparent hate list, and she had been proud when Hotch stopped scrutinizing her every move and contribution. But now, it just felt like she was going right back to where she started from. 

When Emily walked through the glass doors and entered into the bullpen, Emily froze when she saw Morgan was already in Hotch’s office. Worried, she checked her phone and listened to the message again.  _ Prentiss, this is Hotch. Please come in early today and head straight for my office.  _ He  _ clearly  _ said Prentiss...but then why was Morgan there too? Then, her blood ran cold. Had  _ everyone  _ got the message? Was...was JJ going to pop out of nowhere and harass her again?

She was still frozen when Hotch turned his head to gaze out of his office window. He met her eyes and gestured for her to come, and Emily nearly melted at his glare. Gripping her bag’s straps tightly, she walked on ahead, entering Hotch’s office with her heart pounding almost painfully against her rib cage. Both men turned to look at her, Morgan confused and Hotch...blank and unreadable as per usual. 

“Prentiss?” Morgan said incredulously before he and Emily turned to look at Hotch again. He stood and walked to close his office door. When he was behind his desk again, he gestured towards the chair. “Please, sit,” he said. When neither of them did, he sighed but continued. “Now I’m sure why you two know why you’re here.” Again, Morgan and Prentiss gazed at each other confusedly. Hotch cleared his throat, folding his hands as he sat. 

“It has come to my attention that this team is experiencing some sort of set back that puts both our work and our reputation at a disadvantage,” Hotch said, his gaze bouncing between Emily and Morgan expectantly, but they both just listened. Emily looked more afraid than Morgan, but of what, Hotch didn’t know. “As I’ve told Prentiss before, this team cannot operate if trust among the members of this team is compromised,” he continued, and Emily almost fainted right there. How had she lost his trust this time? 

“Why are you telling us this?” Morgan interrupted. “Hotch, Prentiss is my partner. Trust has never been a problem for us.” Emily glanced at him before watching Hotch’s reaction. The word ‘partner’ seemed to be some sort of stressor, but she had no clue why. “I understand that,” Hotch said calmly, though his eyes were piercing holes through them both. “But it is not that I doubt the trust you two have, but the trust the rest of the team has with the both you.” 

Emily raised a brow. “What do you mean?” she asked, baffled. “Who...who doesn’t trust us? Morgan is one of the most talented people I’ve ever met in the bureau.” Morgan crossed his arms. “Who put you up to this?” he demanded. “Strauss? She’s always had something against Prentiss and me. Prentiss is one of the best we have.” Hotch looked like he wanted to let out the biggest groan ever, but he held it in. “I need you two to be honest with me…” he began but Morgan scoffed. “And you think we’re lying? Man, about what?” Emily looked between them, confused. “We trust each other and as far as I know, everyone is fine with the two of us.” 

Hotch raised a brow. “Is that why the team never goes out to bars anymore?” he asked. Morgan and Emily both fell silent. She bit her lip, and he gazed at her worriedly. They both knew why...but did Hotch? Was this some sort of test? The unit chief picked up on Emily’s expression immediately. “Everyone used to spend time together over the weekend, but that stopped. Prentiss, you look exhausted and stressed all the time, and Morgan, why are you always checking up on her? Why is JJ acting so secretive? Reid is especially quiet and Garcia is  _ exceedingly  _ careful when she talks to you two, and we all know that’s strange since she’s the most unfiltered of all of us.” Emily and Morgan locked eyes. This was  _ not  _ good. 

Morgan could see right away that Emily was distressed. Her face was calm and indifferent, but her eyes always gave it away. It was always her eyes. She looked  _ tired  _ and  _ hopeless _ He knew admitting what happened between JJ and Emily would probably be the brunette’s undoing. Things were still pretty tense between the women, and Morgan did not want to put Emily in that position. That was for her to do, not him. There were still details he didn’t know yet.

“I’ll tell you why,” Morgan began, and Emily’s heart almost stopped. “I’m in love with her.”

And then Emily’s heart really  _ did  _ stop.

\-- -- 

Emily, Morgan and Hotch’s meeting stretched on longer than any of them had wanted, and while Morgan fabricated this whole love story while Emily watched, looking as if she’d seen a ghost, the rest of the team became drifting into the bullpen. 

When JJ sauntered into the bullpen to deliver a signed file to Hotch, she stopped dead in her tracks. Through the open blinds of Hotch’s office window, she saw Morgan and  _ Emily _ standing in front of Hotch's desks, both clearly uncomfortable. Well, Emily looked uncomfortable at least. Morgan looked like he was there like some sort of emotional support dog. That's the kind of role he had adopted as of late, and honestly, it was really pissing JJ off. But then again, so was  _ everything.  _ Between being surprised by a pregnancy and being confused about what she wanted, JJ was really having a  _ day _ ...everyday. The last thing she needed was a  _ professional _ drama at work. 

JJ’s blood suddenly ran cold. What...what exactly were Emily and Morgan  _ doing _ in Hotch’s office. Was she...no she  _ wouldn’t _ . Well JJ  _ hoped  _ not. She knew Emily and so she  _ knew  _ that involving  _ Hotch _ of all people would never be anything she’d dream of doing. But then again...Morgan was there and  _ he  _ was doing the talking.  _ Shit.  _

Trembling in a mixture of anger and anxiety, JJ slapped the file down into Emily’s desk with a growl. The blonde leaned over the chair, hanging her head as she tried to keep her world from spinning even farther out of whack. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a voice pipe up behind her. 

“I don’t think Emily would be much of a fan of you touching her stuff right...or ever,” Reid said as he dropped his stachel under his desk and sat in his chair with his coffee in a Dr. Who mug Garcia had gotten him for Christmas. “Hello and good morning to you too, Reid,” JJ said, trying for a playful tone, but she was too freaked out for it to be effective. She sounded like a small child who had lost their favorite toy. 

“Looks like Emily finally did decide to get Hotch involved,” Reid mused, sipping his coffee. JJ turned her head to stare at him. He didn’t meet her gaze, he watched Emily and Morgan through the window. “Finally?” she questioned, but he ignored her. “I heard Morgan and her talking about it. She didn’t want to, but maybe she’s no better at making decisions than you, JJ,” he continued, still not looking at her, despite her intensified glare. 

“What, are you against me too?” she demanded, crossing her arms. Reid raised his brows and settled his eyes on his computer screen as he started it up and logged into the FBI database. “Did you know that approximately 7 0 percent of married women cheat on their partner? Alternatively,  _ 72  _ percent of  _ men  _ do too. Either way, JJ, things don’t look so hot. It’s like you can’t really anybody. Maybe that’s why I’ll stay single,” Reid said, his brows furrowing as he reached to pull a notebook from his satchel. JJ watched him with a scoff. 

“Spence?” she said, her brows knit. Finally, he looked at her, his face passive and plain, despite the clear annoyance he felt towards her. He blinked. “I guess a transfer is in order?” he asked. They held each other’s gaze for ten long, heavy seconds before he sipped his coffee again, his gaze drifting to the cup. He made one last comment. “Must be hard for Hotch to choose, I’m sure. It seems decision-making isn’t much of a skill anymore.”

And with that, JJ grabbed the file from Emily’s desk and retreated to her office, only stopping once to gaze one last look at Emily through the glass, dread filling her chest. It almost choked her. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch got it all wrong, Emily and Morgan are just trying to survive, JJ is pissed, and Rossi is tired of this collapsing team. It's all build up for another big issue in the sad remnants of the relationship between JEmily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just got back to real, live school, which is fun. Being out and about, I finally felt more inspiration and so I am back with another chapter this month! Sorry for any possible typos, lol. Pls feel free to leave some comments with feedback if ya want, I personally love them and they boost my confidence. Anyhoo, thanks for reading and pls enjoy!!

Ever since Morgan had dropped that bomb on both Hotch  _ and  _ Emily, things in the BAU had definitely become much more...interesting.For one thing, not even an hour had passed by the time the entire floor of the FBI building heard the news. And that made JJ  _ pissed _ . 

“You look just about to go unsub yourself, JJ,” Garcia commented when JJ crumpled up and chucked a fifth old casefile at the garbage bin.  _ At  _ the garbage bin. Sure she was a good shot with a gun and a master at darts, but when she was this angry, her prowess went out the window to wither and die in the sun. The liaison glanced up at her friend, trying for a smile, but that only made Garcia wince. “Oh, someone is  _ not  _ happy with a certain tall, dark, and mysterious fraternizing with the  _ other  _ tall, dark and mysterious,” she sighed, making herself comfortable in the chair in front of JJ’s desk. 

“We all know that is  _ complete  _ bullshit! Emily and...and  _ Derek _ !” JJ exclaimed, rubbing her temples. “I mean how dense can Hotch be?! Emily is  _ clearly  _ not into guys and Morgan? He’d try to pick up a lady on a billboard! So much for  _ the world’s greatest minds _ .” Garcia winced again at JJ’s tirade, knowing all too well that JJ was  _ far _ angrier than normal. She had a hunch about  _ why  _ that would be, but she knew at this moment, asking about it would be a matter of life and death. 

“I just…” JJ groaned, holding her head in her hands. “I don’t know how to fix this!” Garcia sighed. “You can't, JJ. You did this to Emily, you brought this on yourself,” She said flatly, making the liaison groan again. “You two had a great thing going, but you got selfish and you stopped thinking about Emily  _ and  _ Will. Does he even know about Emily?” JJ bit her lip, her hands moving slowly to fold in front of her. “No,” JJ admitted. 

“You should tell him.”

“What does it matter now? She’s gone.”

“Because you lied to him too.”

“What, how do I just  _ bring  _ this up. It’ll ruin everything. I can’t lose him too.”

“It would only be fair.”

“But I  _ can’t _ .”

“Why not?”

But Garcia already knew why not. She just wanted to hear JJ say it. “I’m pregnant,” JJ confessed. “I’m pregnant, and I haven’t told him yet.” Garcia gaped. She had only expected the  _ first  _ half of the confession. “JJ!” she exclaimed. “Good  _ god _ woman! You have to tell him!” JJ rolled her eyes. “I  _ will _ ,” she snapped. “I will, but I don’t know  _ when _ .” Garcia facepalmed herself before she spoke up again. “JJ, I love you so much...but you  _ really  _ fucked everything up haven’t you?” she sighed. “Have you told  _ anyone  _ else?” JJ chewed her lip. Her next words were so quiet, so shy that Garcia strained to hear them.

“Who?” 

“Emily.”

“JJ...that must have destroyed her.”

“It did.”

\-- -- 

“This is just great,” Emily complained as she practically collapsed into her chair at her desk. Reid looked at her, his brows raised in amusement, and he was clearly trying to hide it. He failed. “How was it?” Reid asked, his lips curling into a smirk. Emily glared at him, though her eyes lacked any real venom for the boy genius. She slapped the packet she and Morgan had been issued two hours ago.

“That anti-fraternizing seminar was the dumbest waste of two hours,” she sighed, rubbing her temples. “Ugh, only two other people were there, and  _ they _ were clearly fraternizing, not me and my straight best  _ friend _ . Ugh, so much for the  _ world’s best minds _ . Hotch is  _ clueless _ !” Reid smirked, looking around for Morgan, but frowned when he didn’t see him. 

“He’s still in the meeting,” Emily explained, noticing his confused look. “Why?” Reid asked innocently. Then, she managed to crack a smile. “He got in trouble,” she said. “He really played that ‘ _ head over heels in love with my friend’  _ angle. He had to stay for another half hour for making a bunch of suggestive comments about me.” They both burst out laughing, giving Emily that familiar rush of bubbling happiness in her chest, a rush she hadn’t felt in a while. 

“Of course he did,” Reid commented, but their fun was interrupted by a growing Hotch as he came bounding into the bullpen. “We have a case,” he announced. Then, his eyes fixed on Emily sternly. “Go get Morgan,” he ordered and she nodded as she once again wanted to strangle Morgan for bringing this on them. Because of  _ that _ it seemed she was back in the doghouse. 

Before Emily walked away, she glanced at Reid. “This is going to be the longest case... _ ever _ ,” she groaned. Reid looked ag her sympathetically. “Never fall in love,” she added joking, this time with a smirk. He smirked back. “I wouldn’t dare,” he replied.

— — 

Before they knew it, the BAU was onboard the jet and en route to Orlando, Florida. As they took their seats, Hotch intervened to ensure that Emily and Morgan were nowhere near each other, and that unfortunately limited the distance the woman could put in between her and JJ. 

Hotch practically shoved Reid into the seat beside Morgan, and he and Rossi sat on the other side of the table. That left Emily to sit in the open seat across the jet. The open seat next to JJ. Emily would have preferred to sit in the bathroom, or better yet, the wing outside the entire jet.

Emily awkwardly took the seat, trying not to look as JJ shot her a hopeful look, as Morgan glared at the blonde, and as Hotch watched her expectantly. Rossi stared at Hotch questioningly.  What  _ the hell _ was he  _ doing?  _ Rossi sighed. Looked like he would have to nudge Hotch in the right direction... _ again.  _ Guess coming back to the BAU really _ was  _ a good idea. 

“I could go for some coffee,” Rossi commented suddenly, side glancing at Hotch, who only grunted in response. He rolled his eyes. So much for the  _ world’s greatest minds _ . Couldn’t the  _ unit chief  _ of the BAU take a hint that he was trying to pull him to the side?

“You should come get some too,”Rossi added, looking him straight in the face, his face unamused. Hotch raised a brow and awkwardly obliged. As the two stood up to walk to the jet’s coffee pot, the unit chief glanced at Morgan who tried to mask how closely he was watching Emily and JJ. Hotch sighed. Once he and Rossi were far enough away from the rest of the team, the older agent rubbed his temples. 

“My god, Aaron,” Rossi began tiredly as Hotch furrowed his brows. “When you said you’d handle this,  _ this  _ is not what I expected!” he pointed emphatically at the other agent and then the team. “I don’t think I understand,” Hotch said confusedly. “You sent Prentiss and Morgan to an anti-fraternizing seminar, and  _ now  _ look at them!” Rossi explained impatiently. Hotch looked over at his team, seeing Morgan sending death glares at JJ, Emily looking like she wanted to skydive without a parachute, JJ pretending to be asleep with her head on the brunette’s shoulder, and Reid trying to pretend he wasn’t bothered by any of this. “ _ This  _ is not handled,” Rossi concluded. Hotch sighed. “What would you have me do, Dave?” Hotch shot back with a frown. “My team tracks and profiles serial killers. We aren’t supposed to be profiling each other!” 

“And the team isn’t supposed to be hating each other either,” Rossi argued. Hotch sighed again, probably for the hundredth time and Rossi almost let up, but he couldn’t. Not when the team was moving closer and closer to a point of irreparable dysfunction. “I don’t know what to do either, Hotch, but something tells me this all isn’t about Emily and Morgan. I think it’s a cover,” Rossi suggested, but Hotch rolled his eyes as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He quickly dumped in cream and a few packs of sugar. “And I think Orlando has a serial killer,” Hotch replied coldly. “And I think that should be our main focus, not a spat between lovers on my team. Now drop it and let’s get to work.” 

And with that, Hotch walked away, leaving a skeptical and unconvinced Rossi alone to observe a tense and uncomfortable team who was walking around on eggshells every minute of every day. Judging by the way Morgan looked after Prentiss, and the way JJ practically clung to Prentiss, and the way Prentiss tried to avoid JJ...Rossi began to piece it all together. 

“If you want to wait, go ahead,” Rossi muttered to himself. “We can have a team discussion about it after the case...if we still have a team by then.” 


End file.
